Lesson 8 - Stop Complaining!
Troubles, like babies, grow larger by nursing.
-- Lady Holland
When I say "complain", I'm not talking about those instances when you discuss your problems in an attempt to search for solutions. That's constructive and commendable.
Nobody Wants To Hear About Your Aches and Pains
Self-pity is an acid which eats holes in happiness.
-- Earl Nightingale
You might want sympathy, but all you're doing is dragging me down and reinforcing your own suffering.
Talking about pain and discomfort will only bring you more of the same.
Don’t Let It Rain On Your Parade
It starts to rain and people say "What a loosy, miserable day."
Why a loosy day?
I respond: "It's wet out, but it's a great day!"
When you gripe about insignificant things, you're saying something about yourself.
How will you react when you'll really have a problem worth worrying about?
He Had Every Reason To Complain
The secret of happi- ness is to count your blessings while others are adding up their troubles.
-- William Penn
Complaining is a terrible waste of time and energy.
It's not an answer to our challenges in life.
Putting Things In Perspective
Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.
-- Charles Dickens
Eddie Rickenbacker drifted in a life draft for 21 days lost in the Pacific: "If you have all the fresh water you want to drink, and all the food you want to eat, you ought never complain about anything."
Be A Source Of Positive News
Rather than complaining, it's far better to focus your attention and your energy on those steps you can take to solve or lessen your problems.
The people who don't complain very much and speak positively are a joy to be around.
Decide to join that group.
Part 3 - Heaven Helps Those Who Act
Nothing happens by itself. It all will come your way once you understand that you have to make it come your way, by your own exertions.
-- Ben Stein
Lesson 9 - Associate with Positive People
A mirror reflects a man’s face, but what he is really like is shown by the kind of friends he chooses.
-- The living Bible, Proverbs 27
Toxic People And Nourishing People
"We become part of what we are around."
Toxic people will always try to drag you down to their level.
They hammer at you with all the things you can't do and all the things that are impossible.
Dream killers, Energy vampires.
On the other hand there's something truly amazing about positive people.
Those Silly Songs On The Radio
Whatever you hear over and over will be at the forefront of your consciousness.
The mind tends to dwell upon whatever is repeated over and over.
The mind doesn't discriminate between good and harmful.
If we hear something often enough, we will tend to believe it, and act upon it.
If we make sure to fill our mind with positive messages, we're going to be more positive and move forward.
Where to find those positive reinforcement? Motivational books, tapes, positive people.
Smokey’s Sponge Theory
Human beings are like sponge: we "soak up" whatever people around us are saying.
Evaluate Your Friendships
"Are the things around you helping you toward success or are they holding you back?"
-- W. Clement Stone
Lesson 10 - Confront Your Fears and Grow
Do the thing you fear and the death of fear is certain.
-- Ralph Waldo Emerson
"If you want to be successful, you must be willing to be uncomfortable."
People back away from the fear. They don't take action. I know because that's what I did for the first 30 years of my life.
Examining Our Fears
Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.
-- Marie Curie
The Comfort Zone
Comfort zone: A zone of behavior that is familiar to us where we feel comfortable and safe.
The activities and situations inside the circle are non threatening and familiar. They're routine of everyday's life.
When faced with something outside your comfort zone, you suddenly feel nervous. Your heart pounds.
Your fear is holding you back from reaching the next level of success or fulfillment in your life.
The Most Common Fears
- Public speaking
- Being rejected
- Changing job or starting a new business
- Reporting "bad news" to his boss
- Fear of talking with upper management (to look stupid in front of them)
- Fear of failure. To try something new.
The “Benefit” Of Backing Away From Your Fears
Backing away does relieve the fear and anxiety that would have resulted if you followed through with the activity
That's the only benefit: A momentary avoidance of anxiety.
The Price You Pay
- Your self-esteem is lowered
- You feel powerless and frustrated
- You sabotage your success
- You lead an uneventful, boring life
Is the short-term avoidance worth the price you pay in the long run?
People simply prefer to avoid temporary discomfort.
This is insane!
My High School Strategy
Because I refused to face my fear (of being rejected by asking a girl to go out), I remained in the background.
How do you think that made me feel? Pretty lousy.
A New Life
I realized after years of frustration and disappointments that hiding from my fears wasn't getting me anywhere. And it will never get me anywhere.
Armed with a positive attitude, I decided to become a participant in life and to explore my potential.
From the beginning, I felt so much better about myself. I had taken control of my life, and all sorts of possibilities opened up for me.
Reframe The Situation
To confront uncomfortable situuations without fear and anxiety: there's no magical solution.
How then to muster the courage to do those things that you fear, but which are necessary for your success and growth?
Take a different outlook.
Instead of thinking "I won't be able to do this, people will laugh at me, people will reject me…", prepare beforehand and don't be overly concerned with the result.
Considder yourself an immediate winner when you take the step and do the thing you fear.
You're a winner just by entering the arena and participating, regardless of the result.
Moving Forward Even When You’re Afraid
You can't expect to be an accomplished speaker during your first presentation.
Were you a great tennis player after your first game? Or a great swimmer the first time you entered the water?
Developing any skill takes time.
She Followed Her Dream
The only way to escape from the prison of fear is action.
-- Joe Tye
Just Do It
There's nothing wrong with having some fears. Successful people have fears.
The difference is that successful people take action and move forward despite being afraid.
It's not easy, but you'll always feel better about yourself when you face your fears.
"Don't be one of those who let his regrets take the place of his dreams."
Stretch yourself. Confront your fears and be willing to expand your comfort zone.
The courage muscle can be developed just like any other muscle, with exercice.
The other bonus is you develop connfidence that spread in all areas of your life.
You can dance around it all, but you won't develop your abilities to the fullest unless you're willing to be uncomfortable.
Life doesn't reward those who refuse to expose themselves to difficulties and challenges.
Lesson 11 - Get Out There and Fail
Failure is only the opportunity to more intelligently begin again.
-- Henry Ford
In The Beginning
What contributed to your ultimate success in learning how to ride your bike? Persistence and sheer repetition.
The ability to stick with it no matter how long it takes.
Also, to be enthusiastic about what you set to achieve.
Yesterday And Today
As an adult, are you thrilled, optimistic and eager to meet a new challenge?
What happened to that 6 years old child brimming with vitality and a sense of adventure?
How did that child turn into an adult moaning and groaning about learning something new?
As adults, we become a lot more concerned about the opinion of others.
We don't perceive falling off as essential as we were when at 6.
The bias is taking your eyes off the goal and focusing your attention how people might be viewing you.
Successful people have learned to "fail" their way to success.
They recognize their failure as necessary.
Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.
-- Winston Churchill
These Failures Make Millions of Dollars
The greatest mistake a person can make is to be afraid of making one.
-- Elbert Hubbard
Success, to a large extent, is a matter of persistence.
Keep trying, keep developing yourself, keep making adjustments.
Undaunted By Failure
What's a good attitude worth? In case of a champion, 10 millions.
No Overnight Success
Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.
-- William Feather
The only time success isn't possible is when you quit.
Never Give Up
- Do I have an unrealistic timetable? Success is achieved by climbing one step at a time.
- Am I truly committed? Do you have a burning desire to achieve your goal? It's essential that you're willing to do whatever it takes. And banish any thoughts of giving up.
- Do I have too many discouraging influences?
- Am I preparing to succeed? Are you taking steps to learn everything you can about accomplishing your goal?
- Am I truly willing to fail? Failure is essential for growth. It's the natural path to success.
Would you like me to give you a formula for success? Itsquite simple. Double your rate of failure.
-- Thomas J. Watson
Turning Failure Into Success
Learn from every defeat and stay focused on the end result, failure will lead you to success.