Get our of your own way
How much do I want to read more? 7/10
It's a short book and I thought it would be more concise. I'm not a fan of the author's style. But the ideas behind it are well worth it I guess.
Introduction - IS SELF-HELP FOR BROKEN PEOPLE?
"I’m going to reach for a better version of myself every day. I’m going to do it whether you decide to do it or not. Personal growth is one of the most important values in my life, so I’m going to pursue it every single day."
I realized it was up to me to make a choice. Did I want to grow, or did I want to die? Did I want to rise to the level of who I knew I could be? Who God made me to be? Did I want to have an exceptional marriage, be a present father?
I’d lost my way, but now I knew it more clearly than ever. I knew it because, for the first time, I’d been forced to visualize the possible future that would result from my inaction. The future that sat in front of me if I didn’t take this seriously, if I didn’t take massive action to change what I was doing—or not doing. And here’s the thing: even though our most likely scenario was a world where I didn’t make changes and simply lived in a marriage where we drifted apart, I still forced myself to imagine the absolute worst case, in vivid detail, because I needed the leverage of the most brutal things I could think of to get my ass off the mat.
Pain can be incredible leverage. The possibility of underutilizing your potential can be incredible leverage. So can brutal, obvious truth. The idea that you could be more but got in your own way should wake you up in the middle of the night. The idea that you could have been more and might look back at the end of your life with regret should be the single greatest motivator you can tap into.
“The best way out, is always through.”(Robert Frost)
I learned that, as much as it is possible to change your life for the better, before any of that can happen, you have to dig into what is keeping you from a more exceptional life in the first place. You have to do the hard work of identifying and acknowledging the stories you tell yourself that control your life and keep you running in place.
ith headphones, long runs, full drinks, video games, and every other form of withdrawal.
I’d become so good at pushing away my feelings that I didn’t have a handle on what was actually wrong.
The greatest athletes in the world? They know they can always improve, and they show up in the off-season to shoot free throws when no one else is in the arena and hit the weight room like it’s their part-time job . . . and nobody thinks they’re broken.
Working out a muscle in your arm doesn’t imply you had bad arms before they were strong, but for some reason digging into why we do the things we do, how we’re motivated, our habits, what we focus on—that work seems to call into question something at our core that defines us as either strong or weak, fit for more or destined for less, born with it or not.
All of us could benefit from reaching for more internally, from improving our mental health.
Now here’s the thing: if you’re already super into personal development—you’re up early working on mindset, writing in a gratitude journal, listening to every growth podcast, searching for meaning with Viktor Frankl and all the rest—then none of this may be new.
for the last few years I’ve benefited from investing in and reaching for a better version of myself using the tools I once made fun of.
“What are you most afraid of?” He was fishing for tarantulas or scorpions, and out of my mouth fell, “Not living up to my potential.”
I’d been living below my potential for such a long time, living into my very worst fear.
I came back on fire. The same kind of fire Rachel had come back with the first time around. I started getting up at 5:00 a.m. so I could get a jump start on my day, develop an exercise routine, and focus on some of my personal goals before the day began.
I started thinking differently about what I wanted in my life, how I was going to get there, and whose permission I needed to chase after it.
You can find things short-term to make you happy, but if you want to truly be fulfilled you need to be growing.
And in order to grow, you need to put in the time, do the work, and learn to kick the lies putting limits on who and what you can be.
Get Out of Your Own Way is a call to arms for anyone who’s interested in a more fulfilled life, who, along the way, may have lost their “why” and now wonders how to unlock their potential or show up better for the ones they love.
In doing the hard work of embracing growth and examining what lies I believed and why I believed them, I’ve become a better man for me.
Now let’s get to the lies we all need to stop believing to get there.