How to Have Confidence and Power in dealing with people

How much do I want to read more? 9/10

This book is very convincing in telling you the one most important factor is for you to get along with people, both for your success and happiness.


It is largely through our dealings with other people that we become successful.

Why not go after what you want?

Knowledge about human nature as it is—not as theorists say it ought to be—can help you get what you want from other people.

Everybody wins; nobody loses

Let’s get one thing straight: successful human relations means giving the other fellow something he wants in return for something you want. Any other method of dealing with people simply doesn’t work.

The three basic methods of dealing with people

Each of us needs things that other people have to offer.

  1. You can take what you need from the other fellow by force, threats, intimidation, or by outsmarting him. Although criminals naturally fall in this category, many respectable people employ this method in more subtle ways.
  2. You can become a human relations beggar, and beg other people to give you the things you want. This submissive type of personality makes a deal with other people: “I won’t assert myself in any way or cause you any trouble, and in return you be nice to me.”
  3. You can operate upon a basis of fair exchange, or give-and-take. You make it your business to give other people things they want and need, and invariably they will turn around and give you the things you need.

How to tap your unused assets

Right now you have in abundance many things that other people want. Offer these things to other people and they will gladly give you success and happiness in return.

You can get what you want and help others at the same time

A person who has reasonably satisfied his own desires is much more generous and considerate in taking into account the desires of others than is a person whose every desire has been frustrated.
by making yourself miserable and frustrated, you are doing other people the greatest disservice you could possibly devise.

The key to successful human relations

The real key to successful human relations is learning as much as we can about human nature as it is.
Let’s see just what it is that other people really want.

Dessauer, Fort Wayne, Indiana, once said:
“Les,” he remarked, “have you ever noticed that a mediocre typist is very likely to express dissatisfaction with the typewriter? And that a poor golfer is always blaming a poor shot on his sorry golf clubs? You’ll also find that people with little skill in human relations are the ones who are always cussing human nature—and blaming all their troubles on the fact that other people are so ornery.”

How you can have confidence and power in dealing with others

The real object of this book is to teach you how to have confidence and power in dealing with people.

One of the big reasons so many people lack confidence in dealing with others is that they do not understand what they are dealing with.
We are always unsure of ourselves and lack confidence when we are dealing with the unknown.



The one common denominator to all success and happiness is other people.

Merely getting along isn’t the answer

Human relations is the science of dealing with people in such a way that our egos and their egos remain intact. And this is the only method of getting along with people that ever brings any real success or any real satisfaction.

The reason 90 percent of people fail in life

The Carnegie Institute of Technology analyzed the records of 10,000 persons, and arrived at the conclusion that 15 percent of success is due to technical training, to brains and skill on the job, and 85 percent of success is due to personality factors, to the ability to deal with people successfully!

Skill depends on mastering certain basic principles

As far as basic principles are concerned, people are all the same. Yet each individual person you meet is different. If you attempted to learn some gimmick to deal successfully with each separate individual you met, you would be faced with a hopeless task, just as a pianist would be up against an impossible task if he had to learn each individual composition as something entirely new and unique.

The purpose of this book is not to teach you a few “chords,” but to help you master the keyboard—not to teach you a few gimmicks of dealing with people but to give you “know-how” based upon an understanding of human nature and why people act the way they do.


  1. It is a proven fact that from 66 to 90 percent of all failures in the business world are failures in human relations.
  2. So-called personality problems, such as timidity, shyness, and self-consciousness, are basically problems in dealing with people.
  3. Learn skills in dealing with people with confidence and you will automatically improve your own success and happiness.
  4. Learn the underlying principles involved in dealing with people and you won’t need gimmicks.