The Art of Loving


How much do I want to read more? 8/10

I love this idea that we focus more on being lovable than on to love. On the boject, rather than the function.


Foreword

satisfaction in individual love cannot be attained without the capacity to love one’s neighbor, without true humility, courage, faith and discipline.

I. Is Love an Art?

Then it requires knowledge and effort. Or is love a pleasant sensation, which to experience is a matter of chance, something one “falls into” if one is lucky?
This little book is based on the former premise, while undoubtedly the majority of people today believe in the latter.

Most people see the problem of love primarily as that of being loved, rather than that of loving, of one’s capacity to love.
Hence the problem to them is how to be loved, how to be lovable. In pursuit of this aim they follow several paths. One, which is especially used by men, is to be successful, to be as powerful and rich as the social margin of one’s position permits.
Another, used especially by women, is to make oneself attractive, by cultivating one’s body, dress, etc.
Other ways of making oneself attractive, used both by men and women, are to develop pleasant manners, interesting conversation, to be helpful, modest, inoffensive.
Many of the ways to make oneself lovable are the same as those used to make oneself successful, “to win friends and influence people.” As a matter of fact, what most people in our culture mean by being lovable is essentially a mixture between being popular and having sex appeal.

People think that to love is simple, but that to find the right object to love—or to be loved by—is difficult.
marriage was contracted by convention. love was supposed to develop once the marriage had been concluded.
people are in search of “romantic love,” of the personal experience of love which then should lead to marriage.