Living nonviolent communication - Practical tools to connect and communicate skillfully in every situation


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A must-read, like all Rosenber's book and work.


A BRIEF INTRODUCTION TO NONVIOLENT COMMUNICATION

NVC, is a powerful model of communication, but it goes far beyond that. It is a way of being, thinking, and living in the world.
Its purpose is to inspire heartfelt connections between ourselves and other people—connections that allow everyone’s needs to be met through compassionate giving. It inspires us and others to give from the heart. It also helps us connect to our inner divinity and to what is alive in us moment to moment.

We could say that NVC is a language of compassion, but it is really a language of life in which compassion comes naturally.
The model shows us how to express what is alive in us and to see what is alive in other people. Once we get clear about what is alive in us, we can look at what we can do to enrich that life.

The theory that has been around for many centuries says that violence and exploitation happen because people are innately evil, selfish, or violent. But I have seen people who aren’t like that; I have seen many people who enjoy contributing to one another’s well-being.

Feelings When Needs Are Fulfilled

Feelings When Needs Are Not Fulfilled

Some Basic Needs We All Have

Autonomy

Celebration

Integrity

Interdependence

Physical Nurturance

Play

Spiritual Communion

The NVC process shows us how to nakedly express how we are and what is alive in us—without any criticism and without any analysis of others that implies wrongness.
The process is based on the assumption that anything that people hear from us that sounds like an analysis or a criticism, or that implies wrongness on their part, prevents us from connecting with them in a way that allows everyone to contribute to one another’s well-being.

This approach to communication emphasizes compassion—rather than fear, guilt, shame, blame, coercion, or threat of punishment—as the motivation for action.
In other words, it is about getting what we want for reasons that we will not regret later. Part of the process is to say clearly, without analysis, criticism, or blame, what is alive in us. Another part is to say clearly what would make life more wonderful for us and to present this information to others as requests and not as demands.

The Four-Part Nonviolent Communication Process

1. OBSERVATION

2. FEELINGS

3. NEEDS

4. REQUESTS


1 - WE CAN WORK IT OUT - Resolving Conflicts Peacefully and Powerfully