Idiot - Life stories from the creator of Help Hellen Smash


How much do I want to read more? 7/10

What a fresh and lively reading! It reminds me of the few crazy things I did myself in my early teen.
Funny and nice style, full of surprise, without censorship. Not so many books got all of this in the same package.


CHAPTER 1 - Oh, the Places I’ve Peed

Remember when Mary Poppins pulled that long-ass hat stand out of her Magic Bag? That’s what it was like when the doctors pulled me out of my mom’s vagina.

My dad would take the liberal parenting a bit further when he would also say things like “When you try acid, make sure you’re in a comfortable setting.”
“I’m not gonna try acid, Dad.”
“Oh come on, Laura, you gotta try acid.”
I never did try acid. I guess it was my way of rebelling?

Today, I really appreciate this aspect of how I was raised. In a town where everyone passively accepted religion as one of the defining factors of our community, my parents never forced a religion on me. My dad would say, “When you’re old enough to research different religions and make that decision for yourself, I want you to be able to do that.

Public urination. Maggie and I would pee in public all over the place. Walmart. neighbor’s lawn. public library.
But as expected, our game of “Who could pee in the most shocking place?” got old quickly. Fortunately, Maggie knew how to take things up a notch.

I sighed. A moment of silence and then Maggie smiled at me with this devilish grin. I looked at her, confused. “What?” I whispered. And then . . . I felt it. Something soft and mushy in my hand. I lifted my hand out of the water—and screamed!
It was Maggie’s shit. She had shit in the Jacuzzi. AND THE SHIT WAS IN MY HAND.

Maggie and I were fucking weird and adventurous and I loved it more than anything.