How to Talk so Little Kids Will Listen A Survival Guide to Life with Children Ages 2-7
How much do I want to read more? 7/10
Yes it's interesting. It's the psychology behind parent-children relationship. Like "Accept those negative emotions first in your child, so he can move on."
The challenge is, like all great lessons, the hard part is to put them into practice in real life. And this is where this book comes handy, discussing realy issues that happened in real situations with children, with the initial wrong reaction, and then going to the right approach.
It's very practical.
We all do that. When we realized we missbehaved, it's already too late. But we can reflect back and do better next time.
This book is helping a lot in this process of reflecting.
"A person’s a person, no matter how small!"
-- Dr. Seuss
“The way we talk to our children becomes their inner voice.”
—- Peggy O’Mara
Foreword - Adele Faber
Our first book, Liberated Parents/Liberated Children: Your Guide to a Happier Family, has been published. It wins the Christopher Award for “Literary Achievement Affirming the Highest Values of the Human Spirit.”
Seven more books soon follow. How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk and Siblings Without Rivalry become best sellers and are published in more than thirty languages.
How It All Started
when I was told that my first child had significant developmental delays, as did my second, I realized that parenting was not going to be an “on the side” activity for me.
Lucky for me, I grew up with a best friend, Joanna, whose mom, Adele Faber, took a parenting workshop with the late, great child psychologist Haim Ginott.
Little did I know that these methods would become a lifesaver for me so many years later when I faced the challenges of parenting my own three children.
I have a confession to make. I was raised by a mother who wrote best-selling books about parenting.
Even our most ferocious conflicts were resolved by problem-solving rather than punishment.
Terrible two-year-olds, truculent three-year-olds, ferocious four-year-olds, foolhardy five-year-olds, self-centered six-year-olds, and the occasional semi-civilized seven-year-old.
- Part one lays out the basic equipment you’ll be glad to have in your toolbox when a youngster goes haywire.
- Part two addresses the specific challenges that we’ve found to be the most common themes of early childhood—eat, get dressed, get out the door, stop hitting, go to sleep.
PART I - THE ESSENTIAL TOOLBOX
Chapter One - Tools for Handling Emotions . . . What’s All the Fuss about Feelings?
When kids don’t feel right, they can’t behave right.
we can’t behave right when we don’t feel right.
If we don’t take care of their feelings first, we have little chance of engaging their cooperation.
“If you aren’t sure what’s right, try it out on yourself.”
TOOL #1: Acknowledge Feelings with Words
The next time your kid says something negative and inflammatory, follow these steps:
- Grit your teeth and resist the urge to immediately contradict him!
- Think about the emotion he is feeling
- Name the emotion and put it in a sentence
Good feelings can’t come in until the bad feelings are let out. If you try to stuff those bad feelings back in, they will marinate and become more potent.
Ex: Instead of, “You know you love pancakes! They’re your favorite food.”
Try, “Sounds like you’re disappointed about pancakes for breakfast. You’re in the mood for something different.”
When a child says, “This puzzle is too hard!”
Instead of, “No, it’s not. It’s easy. Here, I’ll help you. Look, here’s a corner piece.”
Try, “Ugh, puzzles can be so frustrating! All these little pieces could drive a person nuts.”
All feelings can be accepted. Some actions must be limited!
Often a simple acknowledgment of the feeling is enough to defuse a potential meltdown.