Open Book - Jessica Simpson


How much do I want to read more? 6/10

This autobiography has good feedback, and I'm curious about the psychology behind her.
Some part read like an intimate part of herself, and gets good. Other parts are random facts, and are plain boring.
Maybe it needs to be fast read, and only stop by those better parts.


Prologue

My daughter Maxwell is six now and my son Ace is five, and they have the kind of energy that needs to be burned off outdoors or it will just add up like a bill that needs to be paid at the end of the night.

There are so many firsts to raising kids, and parents are told to catch them all. But they don’t warn you about the lasts. The last baby onesie. The last time you tie their shoes. The last time they think you have every answer in the world.

For me, sitting down here with a piece of paper and a pen is like, “Hello, self! What are we gonna confront tonight?”
This was supposed to be a very different book. Five years ago, I was approached to write a motivational manual telling you how to live your best life.
I was a boss, and I was supposed to tell you how to make your dream come true. You too could have a perfect life. Like me.
The deal was set, and it was a lot of money. And I walked away. Nobody understood why.
The truth is that I didn’t want to lie to you. I couldn’t be honest with you if I wasn’t honest with myself first.

For years, I occupied my time trying and failing to be the woman the men in my life wanted me to be.
I didn’t think I was enough, so I overcompensated by making my life a series of experiences for everyone else.
before you know it, you’ve accidentally become a spectator to your own life.
Okay, when am I gonna jump back in?
And when I did, I knew I had to face my fears and do it sober.
I can’t really stand in front of the world and say how much I love myself when I’m destroying myself.

Right now, with this book, I want the freedom to say, “Well, there are no more secrets.” I have grown into myself and come to a place where I want to be honest about my flaws. If I can do that in front of the world, then I can remain honest with myself. I like to say stuff out loud so then I can be accountable, but that also leaves me open to criticism. I beat myself up enough with this fight club in my head that I know what can happen if I invite new members. My purpose, however, is bigger than my fear of judgment. Someone, maybe you, needs me to say the things that are scary to admit. If I go there, maybe I can show you that you can, too. I don’t live in a fantasy world—it might seem that way to other people, but I don’t. All of us are so much more alike than we want to accept.

I have a different relationship to fear now. I’ve learned that we grow from walking through it, and a lot of people don’t even know they have that option. You either conquer it, or you let it destroy you.

Part One

1- A Lesson in Survival

Halloween 2017

I’d read enough parenting books to know not to say what I’d heard as a kid from people who meant well: “You looked beautiful.” Or, “You were perfect.” Instead, I told her I loved seeing her perform. “You looked so happy up there.”