How much do I want to read more? 8/10
I used to want to be relocated to a new place, with new people, so I can be "myself". Like being given a second chance to be the person I want to express. I didn't want to continue acting awkwardly in a role where I didn't fit.
It has always been a fantasy. This book is a promise to fulfill this fantasy.
I've always been convinced it's possible to change radically. The problem today is, I even forgot the person I want to be.
Quote from the book:
People should be living by acting bravely as their future selves. Not by perpetuating who they formerly were.
"This is a generous, empowering and purposeful book. If you're ready, it will help you unlock a future that you may have been brainwashed into believing wasn't possible. Worth sharing a copy with someone you care about."
-- Seth Godin
is possibly the best self-help book I've ever read. Best part: this is the book that destroys all the useless personality test peddlers that infect the world.
-- Tucker Max
Ben Hardy is proof of what he writes about. He keeps getting better and better--and so can you.
-- Ryan Holiday
My wife—the woman I love the most in the world and have five wonderful children with—almost didn’t marry me… because of a personality test.
Reds are getters driven by ambition and self-interest.
Blues are more heart centered and relationship based.
Whites are introspective and often passive.
Yellows seek fun and ii are the life of the party.
The purpose of personality tests is to categorize people. They create a snap judgement about how you view a person, if you could be friends with them, and what their potential is.
Lauren was a Red. So, when her family found out that I was a White, they were very concerned.
The reason personality is viewed as fixed is because, as a rule, psychologists place extreme emphasis and value on the past.
All scientists believe that behavior is caused by previous events.
your “personality” doesn’t matter. Even more, your personality is not the most fundamental aspect of who you are. Instead, your personality is surface-level, transitory, and a byproduct of something much deeper.
The most fundamental aspect of your humanity is your ability to make choices and stand by those choices, what Viktor Frankl called the last of human freedoms, “To choose one’s own way.” Take this away and you are no longer human.
The more emotionally evolved you become, the less defined you will be by your past and the less constrained you’ll be by your circumstances.
Who you become is your choice—which only you can make.
Yet, fully choosing who you are and will become is rare. We’ve been brainwashed into believing we don’t have such a choice.
It’s much easier, emotionally, to have a box to orient yourself by, even if that box limits your freedom, vision, and courage.
Creativity is risky. It involves making choices and seeking to connect with others on an emotional level. Creativity requires vulnerability and courage.
It’s not surprising, then, that most people view themselves as increasingly less creative as they age.
they prefer being told what they can (and can’t) do, rather than face the risks of creating themselves and their own experience.
When you decide who you’ll be and the life you’ll live, then you can have anything you truly want.
Stacy Salmon learned this truth during a Sunday school class when she was 13 years old. Up to that point, Stacy was shy, timid, and awkward. Her teacher explained to the students that they could all become who they wanted to be. They could develop attributes they admired in others.
This idea sunk-in for Stacy, and from that moment forward, she stopped acting shy around others. Stopped hiding behind her parents in social situations. Stopped awkwardly yawning to avoid attention when someone asked her a question. And over the past 20+ years since that experience, she has continually sought to develop skills, learn from others, and grow as a person. Now in her late 30’s, she still seeks growth and learning, and to develop attributes and characteristics she wants or admires in others. She’s no longer that shy girl. She’s confident and intentional.
That’s the truth of personality. It’s not innate, but trained. It can and does change. It can and should be chosen and designed.
Anyone who’s ever done something great with their life had to transform themselves from who they were to who they became.
They had to act courageously beyond their current personality and circumstances to eventually do what they did and become who they became.
The only thing “special” about those who transform themselves and their lives is their view of their own future.
They see something bigger and better and they never stop fueling that vision. Every single day, they maintain their vision of faith and hope and take courageous steps in that direction, accompanied by much failure and pain.
People use the past as the excuse to remain stuck in habits and attitudes that keep them from growing.
Human travel to Mars is not a possibility yet.
But dying on Mars is Musk’s story—that he will.
That’s where Elon Musk is going as a person, and it’s entirely in his future, not his past. His attention, energy, and narrative are based on the future he’s creating.
This is how successful people live: They become who they want to be by living their life in the direction of their goals, not as a repeat of the past. By acting bravely as their future selves. Not by perpetuating who they formerly were.
In Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, Robert Pirsig wrote, “Steel can be any shape you want if you are skilled enough, and any shape but the one you want if you are not.”
- Transform and heal from traumatic experiences
- Become emotionally flexible
- Shift your identity narrative from past-based to future-based
- Become more courageous and successful
- Build genuine confidence
- Enhance your imagination for creating vision
- Upgrade your brain
- Design your environment to make achieving your goals inevitable
- Become the person you truly want to be
What matters is who you want to be.
What matters is the choices you make.