How much do I want to read more? 8/10

This experience to give from the heart is one of the best I ever experienced and I wish I can connect with it more often.
I believe in the power of listening attentively, and being considerate to the other person.
May this book help me to reconnect with the author's values

What People Are Saying About Nonviolent Communication

The extraordinary language of Nonviolent Communication is changing how parents relate to children, teachers to students, and how we all relate to each other and even to ourselves. It is precise, disciplined, and enormously compassionate. Most important, once we study NVC, we can’t ignore the potential for transformation that lies in any relationship— if we only bother to communicate with skill and empathy.”


In this book, you will find ai\ amazingly effective language for saying what’s on your mind and in your heart. Like so many essential and elegant systems, it’s simple on the surface, challenging to use in the heat of the moment, and powerful in its results.”


“I believe the principles and techniques in this book can literally change the world, but more importantly, they can change the quality of your life with your spouse, your children, your neighbors, your co-workers and everyone else you interact with. I cannot recommend it highly enough.”


“The single toughest, most dangerous opponent I’d ever faced-the one that truly hurt me the most, causing me to spend 30 years of my life behind bars—was my own anger and fear. I write these words now, a gray-haired old man, hoping to God—before you suffer what I’ve suffered-that it will cause you to listen and learn Nonviolent Communication. It will teach you how to recognize anger before it becomes violence, and how to understand, deal with, and take control of the rage you may feel.”

-- A prisoner writing to fellow inmates

Chapter One - Giving from the Heart

What I want in my life is compassion, a flow between myself and others based on a mutual giving from the heart.

-- Marshall Rosenberg


Believing that it is our nature to enjoy giving and receiving in a compassionate manner, I have been preoccupied most of my life with two questions: What happens to disconnect us from our compassionate nature, leading us to behave violently and exploitatively? And conversely, what allows some people to stay connected to their compassionate nature under even the most trying circumstances?

Instead of habitual, automatic reactions, our words become conscious responses based firmly on awareness of what we are perceiving, feeling, and wanting. with honesty and clarity, respectful and empathic attention. In any exchange, we come to hear our own deeper needs and those of others.

We focus on clarifying what is being observed, felt, and needed.

I find that my cultural conditioning leads me to focus attention on places where I am unlikely to get what I want.
NVC train my attention to shine the light of consciousness- on places that have the potential to yield what I am seeking.
Giving from the heart = quality of compassion

"Given To" (1978) by Ruth Bebermeyer

I never feel more given to
than when you take from me-
when you understand the joy I feel
giving to you.
And you know my giving isn't done
to put you in my debt
but because l want to live the love
I feel for you.
To receive with grace
may be the greatest giving.
There's no way I can separate
the two.
When you give to me,
I give you my receiving.
When you take from me, I feel so
given to.

When we give from the heart, we do so out of the joy that springs forth whenever we willingly enrich another person’s life. This kind of giving benefits both the giver and the receiver.

The NVC Process