WHY I GET VERY ANGRY AT YOUR JOKES SOMETIMES?
Few people will get angry if their egos are hurt. And nothing can hurt the ego more deeply than a joke. It goes like an arrow.
some wound is touched, some wound is opened, some pus has started flowing out. You want to forget all about the wounds and the pus.
You have always laughed just to hide your tears.
Chapter 5: Why not Shoot Yourself?
Beautiful Zen stories belong to a totally different climate, a totally different psychology. The world has changed too much; there has arisen a gap. Man has become very much knowledgeable. These stories belong to a world, to a time, when people were simple. They were not cunning, complex; they were innocent. Hence there was a possibility of immediate awakening.
Learning comes in steps; unlearning can happen in a single quantum leap. And Zen belongs to the world of unlearning. It is not knowledge; nobody can attain to knowledge suddenly because knowledge is a quantity, it is not a quality. And anything quantitative can only be attained gradually.
SHIH-KUNG WAS A HUNTER BEFORE HE WAS ORDAINED AS A ZEN MONK UNDER MA TZU.
a hunter lives in a authentic way. He lives with the trees and the animals. He lives close to the nature. And the person who lives close to nature is in an unknown way, unconscious way, close to God, close to truth.
he is alive. He has to be very alive because his work is with very lively creatures.
Jesus puts his hand on his shoulder; the fisherman looks back.
Before he can ask anything,Jesus says to him, ”How long you are going to continue catching fish? Enough is enough! Come with me – I will teach you how to catch men.”
The special transmission has happened. He has looked into the eyes of Jesus; a deep yes has arisen in his being. Whatsoever he has said is so clear: ” ’How long…?’ Of course, how long I am going to catch fish? Is this all there is to life? – catching fish, selling fish, every day, year in, year out? Is this life? There must be something more in it.”
And he can see there is something more in it – this man seems to have attained it. The joy on his face, the serenity of his presence, the silence that has come with him like a shadow, the depth of his eyes, the fire of his being, have kindled something into the simple fisherman’s heart.
He asked Jesus: "Please forgive me. Just give me permission for three days so that I can do the last rites and rituals. My father is dead."
Jesus told him, ”Forget all about it. You follow me. In the village there are so many dead people – they will bury the dead. You need not worry about it.”
And Andreas never looked back. The man who had come to call him simply stood there shocked, he could not believe his eyes.
This is trust. This quality has lost its hold on human consciousness. That’s why religion is only a word, God is only a hypothesis. People talk about God, philosophize about God, but nobody is ready to risk anything.
HE STRONGLY DISLIKED BUDDHIST MONKS, WHO WERE AGAINST HIS PROFESSION.
He disliked Buddhist monks because Buddhism is against hunting, against any kind of violence. One thing to be remembered: hatred is far better than indifference. It is very difficult for an indifferent person to be transformed.
Hate is love upside down. And a man who is standing on his head can be easily put on his feet; The indifferent person is the most difficult person.
ONE DAY, WHILE CHASING A DEER, HE PASSED BY THE COTTAGE WHERE MA TZU RESIDED.
It was accidental that he passed by the hut of Ma Tzu, but it became the greatest moment of his life.
But a simplicity is needed, a simplicity of the heart. The calculating mind can come close and is still going to miss, because between him and a living Master the distance is unbridgeable. He lives in the mind and the Master lives in the no-mind.
Shih-kung was accidentally passing by the cottage where Ma Tzu lived. Ma Tzu came out. The Master immediately recognizes the possibility, the potentiality. The Master is always in a state of welcome, particularly for those who are ready.
SHIH-KUNG ASKED, ”DID YOU SEE SOME DEER PASS BY YOUR DOOR?” ”WHO ARE YOU?” ASKED THE MASTER.
”I AM A HUNTER.”
”HOW MANY CAN YOU SHOOT DOWN WITH YOUR ARROW?”
”ONE WITH ONE ARROW.” ”THEN YOU ARE NO HUNTER,” DECLARED MA TZU.
”HOW MANY CAN YOU SHOOT WITH ONE ARROW?” ASKED THE HUNTER IN HIS TURN.
The Master knows what language to speak to a certain kind of disciple; the disciple can understand only a certain language. Jesus said to Andreas, ”How long you are going to go on catching fish? I will teach you how to catch men.” Now that is speaking the language of a fisherman.
MA TZU SAID, ”THE ENTIRE FLOCK, WITH ONE ARROW.”
”THEY ARE LIVING CREATURES, WHY SHOULD YOU DESTROY THE WHOLE FLOCK AT ONE SHOOTING?”
Even the hunter felt that this is too much. The Master can create a situation to emphasize a certain fact.
Even the hunter is shocked.
”THEY ARE LIVING CREATURES,” THE HUNTER SAID. ”THIS IS NOT GOOD, THIS IS NOT HUMAN… WHY SHOULD YOU DESTROY THE WHOLE FLOCK AT ONE SHOOTING?”
That’s what Ma Tzu wanted him to be remembered – that they are living creatures. Rather than telling him that ”They are living creatures, you should not kill them…” That would have been not right; he had heard that many times and he hated the Buddhist monks because of that. The Master goes in a roundabout way, indirect: he plays the role of the hunter himself – he puts the hunter in the role of the monk. He lets him say what he would have said, in fact. He makes him aware of the fact that they are living creatures.
And remember this: only a Master can do it, a teacher cannot do it. A teacher will simply say that ”This is not right, to kill living creatures. This is destruction, this is violence. You will suffer for your karma. This is evil that you are doing.” And that would not have helped at all.
Rather than being told, it is better to provoke certain awareness in you.
”IF YOU KNOW THAT MUCH, WHY DON’T YOU SHOOT YOURSELF?” SAID MA TZU.
he is talking to his consciousness.
he is becoming aware that what he has been doing was wrong. And the Master has not said that it was wrong. When somebody else says to you that it is wrong, your ego feels offended; and you start rationalizing.
Everybody goes on doing things that he should not, for the simple reason because whenever others say to you, ”Don’t do it,” there comes a deep desire to assert and to say, ”I will show, I will do it.”
without having an ego you will never understand the beauty of egolessness. First the ego has to be created, first the ego has to be strengthened, and when the ego is mature it has to be dropped. Then the explosion!
THE MASTER SAID, ”IF YOU KNOW THAT MUCH, WHY DON’T YOU SHOOT YOURSELF?”
The hunter has become aware that it is wrong to kill living animals; whether you kill many or one is only a question of quantity. But wrong is wrong; more or less does not matter.
”Is it not time that you should shoot yourself rather that shooting animals?” And Shih-kung understood, felt ashamed. Yes, that’s right, he has done enough wrong already. He is a murderer. It is better to shoot oneself.
HE SAID, ”AS TO SHOOTING MYSELF, I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO PROCEED.”
He is asking, ”Can you teach me?’ He is asking, ”Can you help me how to proceed?”
”THIS FELLOW,” EXCLAIMED MA TZU, ALL OF A SUDDEN, ”HAS PUT A STOP TODAY TO ALL HIS PAST IGNORANCE AND EVIL PASSIONS!”
What has happened? Something incredible, something unbelievable. Because Shih-kung said, ”I don’t know how to shoot myself. I would like – I understand your point. I have done enough wrong, I am not worth living a single moment more.” If this understanding has come, then all past ignorance is finished and all evil passions are gone.
In a single blow, with a single arrow, the Master has killed the whole flock – of all evil passions, of ignorance, of all his rationalizations, of all his arguments, of all his hatred for the Buddhist monks.
THEREUPON, SHIH-KUNG THE HUNTER BROKE HIS BOW AND ARROWS AND BECAME MA TZU’S PUPIL.
This is not a calculated step, this is not business-like.
Immediately, instantly, not a single question. This used to happen in the past very easily. This happens today too hut more rarely.
WHEN HE BECAME A ZEN MASTER HIMSELF, HE HAD A BOW AND AN ARROW READY TO SHOOT, WITH WHICH HIS MONKS WERE THREATENED WHEN THEY APPROACHED HIM WITH A QUESTION.
he was not a knowledgeable person, but he had become enlightened.
His Master had finished all his questions with a single arrow; he had killed the whole flock. He has proved what he has said. He was a real hunter.
You are not a master of it, you are just an amateur. Don’t brag that you are a hunter – this is nothing. If you want to learn hunting, I will teach you what hunting is. But real hunting begins by shooting yourself, by killing the ego.” So he knew only one answer to all questions, so whatsoever questions his disciples will bring he will threaten them with the arrow and the bow.
SHIH-KUNG EXCLAIMED, ”LOOK OUT FOR THE ARROW!”
"If you ask a question I know only one answer: Look for the arrow! I will kill you immediately, here and now. That’s what my Master did and that’s what I know. That’s all that I know".
PING OPENED HIS CHEST AND SAID, ”THIS IS THE ARROW THAT KILLS; WHERE IS THE ONE THAT RESUSCITATES?”
PING OPENED HIS CHEST AND SAID, ”Okay, so you kill. If that is the answer then I am ready to accept the answer. Only make one thing clear before you kill me: THIS IS THE ARROW THAT KILLS; WHERE IS THE ARROW THAT resurrects?”
KUNG STRUCK THREE TIMES ON THE BOWSTRING. PING BOWED. KUNG SAID, ”I HAVE BEEN USING ONE BOW AND TWO ARROWS FOR THE PAST THIRTY YEARS, AND TODAY I HAVE SUCCEEDED IN SHOOTING DOWN ONLY HALF OF A WISE MAN.”
NOW this is a very, tremendously pregnant statement;
Kung struck three times on the bowstring; that is symbolic of three aspects of the mind.
Kung said, ”This death happens in three steps. The first aspect is what we know as mind, reason, thinking. The second aspect is what we know as the heart, feeling, emotions. The first aspect is masculine, the second aspect is feminine. The first aspect is extrovert and active and aggressive, and the second aspect is inactive, introvert and receptive. The first aspect has created science, logic, philosophy, theology, et cetera. The second aspect has created all arts, poetry, music, dance, literature, painting, et cetera.
And the third aspect is called the self: transcending both active and inactive, extrovert and introvert; transcending the duality, just becoming aware of both. The Hindu philosophy calls it the ATMA, the supreme self, and Hinduism stops here. Jainism also stops here, all other religions also stop here. According to Zen, to stop here is to be only half wise.
Buddha says there is something still left; that is the fourth, which is not an aspect of the mind. Even the third, the self, is the subtlest ego; it is the most subtle, but it is ego. The mind is still there, very silent, neither active nor inactive, very still, in a dormant state, neither masculine nor feminine, in a seed form, but it is still there. It can be reactivated by any situation; it has not died.
Patanjali calls this state sabeej samadhi – samadhi with seed. And the fourth he calls nirbeej samadhi – seedless samadhi. The fourth is called by all the Buddhas simply the fourth, turiya; no name is given, just the number, the fourth. The fourth means the transcendence of the transcendence, going beyond the beyond. Buddha calls it anatta – no-self.
These three are the death part. The Master kills all these three. And the fourth is resurrection. The three are the crucifixion and the fourth is the resurrection.
WHERE IS THE ONE THAT GIVES A REBIRTH?”
KUNG STRUCK THREE TIMES ON THE BOWSTRING. PING BOWED.
Just after the three he bowed. That’s why Shih-kung said he was only half a wise man. He should have waited just a little more for the fourth.
KUNG SAID, ”I HAVE BEEN USING ONE BOW AND TWO ARROWS…”
One bow means the self and two arrows means the mind and the heart, reason and emotion, thinking and feeling, masculinel-feminine, yang-yin, Shiva-Shakti – the whole duality, the world of duality, those two: the positive and the negative, the day and night, the summer and winter, life and death. Whatsoever you want, wherever you find duality, that means the two arrows. And when you go beyond the duality that means the bow, the third, the self.
He should have waited just a little. Shih-kung was going to do that – he did it.
SHIH-KUNG BROKE HIS BOW AND ARROWS ONCE MORE…
He should have waited for this. If he had waited for this and THEN bowed down he would have been a fully enlightened man immediately. He stopped at the third – where Vedanta stops, Jainism stops, Christianity, Islam, every path stops, because it seems one has arrived. It is a beautiful state, tremendously beautiful state. One feels there cannot be anything more, but there is.
Remember, unless you disappear totally, not even a trace of you is left, not even the spiritual idea of being is left – when you have arrived to non-being, to absolute nothingness, to the void, to pure space – go on. Only with the fourth you will know, only with the fourth the truth is revealed, God is known, Tao is realized.
SHIH-KUNG BROKE HIS BOW AND ARROWS ONCE MORE, AND NEVER USED THEM AGAIN.
He has found his successor. He was waiting for the successor. The day he has found himself he had broken his bow and arrows; now he has found somebody who can carry his flame onwards. He has broken his bow and arrow again. Something tremendously great has happened, but one step more will be needed.
San-ping has done great work in a single instant, has missed just by one step. You have to remember that.
A man is fully enlightened only when he disappears completely, when there is nothing left inside, when he is just like a hollow bamboo and becomes a flute and the whole starts singing through him. When the song is no more his, then the song is divine.
Chapter 6: Wake up, Lazarus!
DID JESUS REALLY CALL BACK LAZARUS FROM DEATH?
To live in time is not to live at all; to go beyond time is the beginning of life.
Lazarus represents all the disciples, Jesus represents all the Masters.
The disciple lives in his grave; the Master calls him forth, wakes him up.
Lazarus must have been dead, just as everybody is dead. Unless you become enlightened you are dead, unless you know who you are you are dead. The moment you know who you are, the moment your inner light explodes and the darkness disappears, you become alive, and for the first time. Then there is no more birth and no more death. You have gone beyond time, you have tasted eternity. Lazarus must have tasted eternity through Jesus – that is the meaning of the parable.
They are alike because the Jain sculptors were not concerned with history, they were concerned with inner phenomena. They had attained to the same experience – how to represent it? and how to represent it in marble? They have attained to same stillness, same centering, same groundedness, same crystallization. Hence the same statues – the same posture, the same body represents something of the inner – the same spiritual state, the same samadhi.
their earlobes are touching their shoulders. You cannot find such long ears. It represents something. It says these people attained to their ultimate state of consciousness by absolute listening.
Any kind of awareness leads to the ultimate. Now, the awareness can come from any sense out of the five. You can listen to music and it will do… you can listen to anything and it will do. You can see the clouds and the sunsets and the birds flying in the sky and seeing will do. The only point to be remembered is: your mind should not function; your sense should remain unclouded by the mind.
I SO OFTEN COME TO THE POINT WHERE THERE IS NO MORE SENSE
…WORTH AND MEANING IN MY LIFE. EVERYTHING THAT I START TO DO LEADS ME TO THIS POINT. AND THE RIVERS AND OCEANS THAT I KNOW ARE RIVERS AND OCEANS OF ILLUSIONS, DREAMS AND FANTASIES, HAVING NOTHING TO DO WITH TAO.
PLEASE, WOULD YOU HELP ME TO UNDERSTAND ALL THESE ILLUSORY CIRCLES.
life has no meaning in itself Meaning arises when consciousness arises in you; then life reflects your consciousness, then life becomes a mirror, then life echoes your song, your celebration, your inner music. Hearing those echoes you start feeling significance, meaning, worth.
A man of consciousness lives without expectations, hence he cannot feel any frustration ever.
people go on changing their jobs, they go on changing their hobbies, they go on changing their wives, their husbands, they go on changing their religions. They go on changing whatsoever they can change – with the hope that this time something is going to happen. But unless you change, nothing is going to happen.
It is not a question of changing something on the outside – you remain the same!
Life is just an empty canvas; you have to paint the meaning on it. Whatsoever you paint will be the meaning of it.
change your consciousness. The change has to be inner; only inner change can change something. Otherwise all changes are false, pseudo.
Your God is an illusion, your meditation is an illusion, your yoga is an illusion, your Tao is an illusion, because these are all your mind projections.Stop projecting your fantasies, dreams, expectations on life. Completely forget that. The whole effort has to be one and single, and that is how to be awake. If you are awake, then things will be different, totally different.
CAN MAN LAUGH EVEN IN THE FACE OF DEATH?
Some don't look at the flowers they have been given. they don’t feel grateful. They have completely forgotten the language of gratitude. They have forgotten to laugh.
Mansoor laughed when he was being killed.
He said ”I am laughing because you are killing somebody else. This body is not Mansoor – I am not it. If you think I have committed a crime by declaring myself God, then punish me. Why are you punishing this body? This poor body has done nothing.
Mansoor was killed in a far more inhuman way than Jesus. He was cut piece by piece: his legs were cut, then his hands were cut, then his eyes were taken out, then his nose was cut, then his tongue was cut, and then his head was cut.
HOW CAN WE TEACH CHILDREN TO BE MORAL AND RELIGIOUS?
The first thing: you are not to teach children religion and morality; you have to learn from them because they are far more closer to God than you are.
Watch them, see their authenticity, see their spontaneity, see their watchfulness, see how alert they are, how full of life and joy, how cheerful, how full of wonder and awe.
If you can feel wonder, if you can feel awe, you are religious. Not by reading the Bible or Gita or Koran, but by experiencing awe. When you see the sky full of stars, do you feel a dance in your heart? Do you see a song arising in your being? Do you feel a communion with the stars? Then you are religious. You are not religious by going to the church or by going to the temple and repeating borrowed prayers which have nothing to do with your heart, which are just head affairs.
Help them to keep their wonder alive, help them to remain sincere and authentic and intelligent. But you destroy them. That’s what you want, actually, by asking this question: ”How can we teach…?”
The roses were already offered to God; they were already dancing in the breeze, in the sun. Plucking them you have killed them. You have killed the living roses and now you are going to offer them to a dead God!
”Do you see, my son? The chickens that were bad were eaten by a fox.”
”So?” replied his son. ”If they had been good, we would have eaten them!”
If you watch small children, their inventiveness, their intelligence, their constant exploration into the unknown, their curiosity, their inquiry, you need not teach them any beliefs.
And what is religion in your mind, Krishnaraj? – teaching certain beliefs. And no belief is religious, all beliefs make people stupid. Religion is an experience, not a belief.
If twenty-one years is the age for political maturity, then at least forty-two years should be the age for religious maturity. Before forty-two years nobody should choose any religion Inquire, search, explore, and explore all over the place, explore in every possible direction.
If you sit in meditation and they see the silence and the serenity and the stillness surrounding you and a certain aura that arises out of meditation, a certain radiation, they are bound to be interested in it.
I WANT TO BE A CELIBATE, A PERFECT BRAHMACHARIN.
THEN WHO WILL RING THE BELLS OF JERUSALEM?
I would also like you to be a celibate one day, not out of a desire but out of a deep understanding. And desire is never part of understanding, remember. Desire may come out of frustration.
Sex brings a momentary ecstasy; for a moment you are transported to another world, the world of timelessness.
It is like in a dark night you are passing on the road and a car comes with the headlights on. Suddenly there is all light for a moment, and the car passes by. Now the road is far darker than before because you can compare.
Sex gives you a deep ecstasy, but it is momentary. And then there is a fall, a great fall from the heights.
You start feeling, ”What is the point of it all?” nothing is left in your hands, just a memory.
If you decide in your negativity you will become life-negative. That’s what happened to religions in the past.
Then you have to escape to the monasteries; then you have to go to the mountains, to the caves. And there too sex is not going to leave you so easily because sex is not something outside you, it is something inside you. It is your biology, it is your psychology, it is your physiology; those hormones are within you. It is in your blood, in your bones, it is in your very marrow. It is not even in your sex center only, because there have been stupid people who have cut their sex organs in order to become perfectly celibate.
you can cut the sexual organ, sex will remain, because the sex center exists in your brain.
There are spiders… while making love the female spider starts eating the lover. He is making love, he is on top of her, and she starts eating him. first she eats the head because then he cannot escape. When it is a question of lovemaking, who needs head? – head is gone; slowly slowly his other parts start going, but he goes on making love.
Sex will go with you to your monastery, it will go with you to the cave, because it is in your brain. Celibacy will not happen; only perversion will happen.
celibacy has to come on its own, not to be practiced and cultivated. It comes on its own, but then it is not a decision taken in the negative moment, then it is not life-negative; then it is a transcendental phenomenon. You have seen again and again the positive and the negative, and you have understood the natural trick that nature is playing upon you.
Go through all the experiences of love, positive, negative. Go meditatively, go with full awareness into them.
a deep understanding happening. And then you will not ask that ”How to be a celibate?” You will be celibate. I can bless only that kind of celibacy.
I can bless only that which happens out of understanding, not on of cultivation.
My blessings are with you, but only when something happens in you through understanding, not by effort. I am against all effort.
Chapter 7: Mind is Gone
IT IS ONE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL PARABLES in all the records of Zen mythology.
whether you are aware or not aware of it, man is in a constant communion with existence.
In the East it is said that the universe is like a spider’s web. If you touch a single thread of the spider’s web, the whole web will feel the vibration Touch a single blade of grass and you have touched the greatest star, the farthest away star, because the whole is an organic unity; nothing is unrelated. It is only human ignorance that has created the idea of the ego.
And man lives in a kind of self-exile; it is self-imposed exile. We have made a small capsule around ourselves; we have become encapsulated, alienated. And then we suffer, then we are miserable. Then we can’t find any meaning in life, any significance in life. Then we feel uprooted, ungrounded. Then we feel accidental, as if we are not needed at all, as if existence would go on running in the same way whether we are or we are not. That gives us a deep wound. We lose confidence, trust in ourselves. We become something futile, unneeded, useless; just by accident we have come into existence.
And this whole nonsense arises because we have created the idea of the ego. The ego is an effort to disconnect yourself from the whole, although you cannot disconnect yourself from whole, but you can live in the belief that you have succeeded. Your belief is the cause of your hell. Drop the belief of the ego and suddenly you will see messengers running between you and the whole continuously, every moment, day in, day out. Then the birds singing bring messages, the flowers opening bring messages, then the stars twinkling in the night bring messages. Then the whole existence becomes an open book, the REAL Bible. Then you need not go into old, rotten scriptures; you can simply look around and start reading existence. And then there are sermons everywhere, scriptures everywhere, songs everywhere.
You must have seen pictures of the angels: they all look like small children.
All the Buddhas have said: Unless you attain your childhood again you will not know what the truth is. But they are not childish, remember – childlike of course, but not childish. To be childish is to be retarded, to be childlike is to be innocent.
ONE DAY AN ANGEL, FLYING BACK TO HEAVEN, SAW BELOW HIM A LUXURIANT FOREST ENVELOPED IN A GREAT, GLOWING HALO OF LIGHT.
ANGELS FLY. MAN CREEPS, crawls. To be with a Master the first awareness that happens to the disciple is that ”I can also fly,”
Man is so unconscious that he is no aware of his whole potential.
that’s how almost everybody thinks. In the world we think always in terms of quantity; we don’t know the dimensions of quality.
It is not a question of more or less awareness. Either one is aware or one is not. It is a transformation.
When you become aware at the innermost core of your being it happens as a sudden illumination. Your whole being becomes light.
ONE DAY AN ANGEL, FLYING BACK TO HEAVEN, SAW BELOW HIM A LUXURIANT FOREST ENVELOPED IN A GREAT, GLOWING HALO OF LIGHT. HAVING TRAVELED THROUGH THE SKY MANY MANY TIMES BEFORE, HE NATURALLY HAD SEEN NUMEROUS LAKES, MOUNTAINS, AND FORESTS, BUT HAD NEVER PAID MUCH ATTENTION TO THEM. TODAY, HOWEVER, HE NOTICED SOMETHING DIFFERENT – A FOREST SURROUNDED BY A RADIANT AURA,FROM WHICH BEAMS OF LIGHT RADIATED TO EVERY PART OF THE FIRMAMENT.
THE ANGEL COULD SEE IT because of his childlike innocence
ou may have missed, you may have passed by the side of the same forest. And I say to you, many times you have passed through such people and you have missed. you must have missed, otherwise you would have been transformed, you would have been changed, your values would have changed. Your life would have been a totally different phenomenon – but you must have missed.
It is easy to miss because it is very easy to be cunning, clever, knowledgeable. It is difficult to be innocent. And there are few things that only innocent people can see.
HE REASONED TO HIMSELF, ”AH, THERE MUST BE AN ENLIGHTENED BEING IN THIS WOOD! I SHALL GO DOWN AND SEE WHO IT IS.”
UPON LANDING, THE ANGEL SAW A BODHISATTVA SITTING QUIETLY UNDER A TREE ABSORBED IN DEEP MEDITATION.
HE SAW A BODHISATTVA SITTING QUIETLY… ABSORBED IN DEEP MEDITATION.
According to Zen, meditation becomes deep at the fourth stage. There are four stages of meditation. First is not talking; your lips are silent. That is an outer kind of silence but the beginning. The beginning has to be outer because you are on the outside; you can begin only from where you are.
he second meditation is not thinking. First you stop words, you don’t speak. Second you stop words, yoU don’t think. And third is: not thinking that ”I am not thinking,” which is the most difficult – because when you see that all thoughts have disappeared, this thought grips your whole being: ”Aha! So I have arrived. This IS SATORI!” But you have started falling. And in the beginning it is bound to happen a few times, unless the Master goes on hitting you and telling you, that ”Stop this! There is no need to brag about it to anybody or to yourself either. Let it pass – that too is a phase.”
And then the fourth is the deep meditation when you simply are – not even the thought that ”I have no thoughts.”
Friedrich Nietzsche has said, ”Don’t disturb people’s illusionS, otherwise they will never forgive you.”
Zen people will say that Socrates has reached the third. He needs now a Zen Master to hit him, to push him to the fourth, where he will forget about this knowing business totally. Even to say, ”I know that I know nothing;’ is knowledge.
Hence, up to the third Zen people don’t call meditation deep. They call it deep only at the fourth when all is gone; even the idea that all is gone is no more there. Mind is gone. Even the idea that ”I have achieved the no-mind” is no more there. Knowledge is gone. Even the idea that ”Now I know nothing” is no more there. Zen has taken the ultimate step.
HE THOUGHT TO HIMSELF – THE ANGEL THOUGHT TO HIMSELF – ”NOW LET ME FIND OUT WHAT MEDITATION HE IS PRACTICING.”
The child has the same kind of innocence as the sage, but the sage has lost that innocence and found it again and the child has not lost it yet. It is the same innocence, but it changes its quality when you lose it and gain it again.
You can have glimpses in the child of that intelligence which belongs to a Buddha, but those are only reflections.
The child can be disturbed very easily; the sage cannot be disturbed at all. There is no way to disturb the sage. The child is innocent, but his innocence is bound to be lost sooner or later. He is intelligent, but he will lose his intelligence.
you will appreciate it only when you have lost it. Then you will make great effort to gain it again. Paradise has to be lost and regained;
The angel is just a child, innocent. He is not a sage.
HE THOUGHT TO HIMSELF, ”NOW LET FIND OUT WHAT MEDITATION HE IS PRACTISING.”
MEDITATION IS EVER PRACTICED. Those who think in terms of practicing meditation are childish; they don’t know anything about meditation.
AND HE OPENED HIS HEAVENLY EYES TO SEE ON WHAT OBJECT OR IDEA THIS YOGI HAD FOCUSED HIS MIND.
Now meditation is not concentration either, but the child cannot think of a meditation which has no object.
there are two kinds of religion in the world: one, the childish kind of religion which thinks about God the father.
Then there are really grown-up, mature religions which don’t think of God as father or mother, in fact which don’t think of God as a person at all.
which think of God as awareness, as light, which think of God as the void, absolute purity, the nothingness, the no-selfness.
Zen belongs to the second category; it is the most mature religious approach.
Meditation is not focusing; meditation is not mind at all.
ANGELS CAN USUALLY READ THE MIND OF YOGIS…
because yogis try to concentrate. Zen goes far beyond Yoga: Yoga only prepares you for the ultimate jump – Zen is that ultimate jump.
But there are millions of fools around the world who go on practicing yoga postures their whole lives, forgetting completely that just preparing the ground.
BUT THE ANGEL COULD NOT FIND ANYTHING AT ALL, MUCH TO HIS SURPRISE. HE CIRCLED AND CIRCLED THE YOGI…
AND FINALLY WENT INTO SAMADHI HIMSELF…
because an innocent mind can catch, can imbibe – he may not be able to understand what is happening.
when little Siddhartha comes for close-up or for charansparsh; He cannot understand what is happening, but he immediately goes into it.
… BUT STILL COULD NOT FIND ANYTHING IN THE BODHISATTVA’S MIND.
Innocence cannot understand; it can contact, but it cannot understand. To understand one needs to regain innocence A regained innocence is capable of under standing A regained innocence has something more to it, some new flavor, some new fragrance. Only a sage can understand. For understanding, innocence is needed, but something more is also needed, something plus: that is losing it and gaining it – that gap is needed.
FINALLY THE ANGEL TRANSFORMED HIMSELF INTO A HUMAN BEING…
Up to now he was just a spirit.
… CIRCUMAMBULATED THE BODHISATTVA THREE TIMES, PROSTRATED HIMSELF, AND SAID:
”I MAKE OBEISANCE TO THE AUSPICIOUS ONE; I PAY MY HOMAGE TO YOU, O LORD OF ALL SENTIENT BEINGS! PLEASE AWAKE, COME OUT OF SAMADHI, AND TELL ME UPON WHAT YOU WERE MEDITATING. AFTER EXHAUSTING ALL MY MIRACULOUS POWERS, I STILL HAVE FAILED TO FIND OUT WHAT WAS IN YOUR MIND.”
NOW THIS POINT has to be deeply remembered: the child has one quality, innocence, to understand, but the other quality is missing. He has not lost it yet, he has not missed it yet, he has not fallen from grace yet, he has not gone astray yet. He takes it for granted; he is not yet grateful for it. The knowledgeable person has missed it but is not trying to find it. He has another quality: he has missed it, but he is not trying to find it again. Neither the child will understand nor the scholar, the pundit.
To understand, a sage is needed who has lost and then made every possible effort, risked all to gain it again. He has both the qualities: the innocence of the child and the awareness of the one who had gone astray and the one who has suffered. He knows what ignorance is; that’s why he can know what knowing is. He knows what knowledge is so now he can know what wisdom is.
There was no mind and there was nothing in the mind that’s why he has failed. But he is not aware of the state. Of course he has experienced it himself – he wen into samadhi – but still he is not yet aware enough to know what has happened to him.
THE BODHISATTVA SMILED.
This is the special transmission. Words are of no use they are not adequate enough, but the smile can say something which is unsayable; it can show something which cannot be said.
AGAIN THE ANGEL CRIED, ”I MAKE OBEISANCE TO YOU; I PAY HOMAGE TO YOU! ON WHAT ARE YOU MEDITATING?”
But the angel cannot understand the smile either.
THE BODHISATTVA MERELY CONTINUED TO SMILE AND REMAINED SILENT.
The parable ends here; it does not say anything what happened to the angel. He must have remained as ignorant as before. He came so close, yet he missed. The knowledgeable person comes very close and missed because of his knowledge; the innocent person can come close and can miss because he is not yet aware enough. Innocence plus awareness, then only the special transmission is possible. And Tao can be transmitted only in a very special way; no ordinary methods are applicable.
The bodhisattva did all that can be done, but the angel was not a Buddha. If he had been a Buddha, he would have understood.
The disciple has to learn to be both. He has to be very innocent plus very aware. Then in some sudden moment, when everything is ready, in an instant, all becomes light, all is understood, and forever.
Chapter 8: Get it?
WHAT IS FOR LUNCH TODAY?
It happens to celibates: their interest starts changing from women to food. You can look around the Indian sannyasins, the so-called mahatmas, and you will always find them very fat, with big bellies. And the reason is that their whole sexuality becomes perverted. They start focusing their libido on food.
Food and sex are deeply related. necessary for the survival of the individual and the species.
Sex is exactly like food for the species and food is like sex for the individual. Without food the individual will die, without sex the species will die.
If you start repressing your sexuality, then the natural shift is from love to lunch.
don’t become so much interested in lunch; it is dangerous.
when the mother loves the child. the breast has a different feel and different vibe. The mother enjoys the child feeding on her breast; it is stimulating to the mother’s sexuality. If the mother is really in love with the child she goes almost in an orgasmic joy. Her breasts are very sensitive; they are the most erotic zones of her body. She starts glowing and the child can feel it. The child becomes aware of the phenomenon that the mother is enjoying. She is not simply feeding him, she is enjoying it.
Religion is born, the first glimpse of religion happens to the child in his relationship with the mother.
the child never eats too much because he trusts; he knows the mother is always there.
A well-loved child remains healthy. He is neither thin nor fat; he keeps a balance.
All poor children have bigger bellies for the simple reason the mother will be going to the work the whole day. The child will look like a burden.
I NEVER FEARED ANYTHING AND NEVER CHOSE TO ESCAPE IN MY LIFE
…THERE IS ONLY ONE THING THAT SCARED ME AND GAVE ME AN UNBEARABLE FEELING TO ESCAPE – BOREDOM. WHY AM I SO AFRAID OF BOREDOM? WHAT AM I TRYING TO ESCAPE REALLY?
IT IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT QUESTIONS, because man is the only animal who feels boredom.
even as far as man is concerned, all men don’t feel boredom. It needs intelligence to feel boredom, so very few, the most intelligent people in the world, feel boredom. Buddha felt it, Mahavira felt it. So in a way it is not a curse, it is a blessing.
It is out of boredom that the inquiry for the meaning of life arises.
There are people who are perfectly happy with money, accumulating more and more.
you will never see them bored. They are always on the go, always interested in stupid efforts of gaining power, prestige, money. But they are contented.
feel blessed. This is a symptom of a higher intelligence. Out of this boredom the person starts moving inwards; finding everything futile on the outside he turns in – because there is nowhere else to go.
His intelligence is so clear, so transparent that he can see that he can have all the money of the world, still he will be the same person. He can have all the power of the world, still he would not have become a new being through it, he will not be reborn. He can have all the knowledge that is available, but still he will remain the same stupid person inside; his knowledge will be just parrotlike. He will repeat beautiful cliches without exactly knowing their meaning, because their meaning can be known only through experience of one’s own. He can talk like Jesus, he can sermonize on the kingdom of God that is within, but he has no glimpse of it.
Now there are two possibilities. One is the western possibility. You end with "I don’t want to be a part in this futile, meaningless existence."
But the East has a totally different alternative. When the mind fails, when the reason fails, it does not mean that life has failed. It simply means that whatsoever reason could do it has done; now you have to look for deeper realms of your being – and there are deeper realms. Deeper than your mind is your heart. Deeper than logic is love. Deeper than science is art. Deeper than mathematics is music.
The East drops the mind, not life, and starts moving into the heart, into the world of feelings. And then suddenly great meaning arises, the boredom starts disappearing. And remember, the heart is not your innermost core either; it is only a midway rest. Moving from the mind to the being, the heart is exactly in between. When you have reached to the heart then you will become aware that there is a still deeper layer. But the heart will fill your life with joy, with great thrill, with excitement. The boredom will be gone, and with the boredom gone you will become aware of a deeper realm, the deepest: the dimension of your being, your innermost core. That innermost core fulfills you totally, absolutely. Reaching it is the goal of sannyas. Reaching it is the purpose of meditation.
Religion is bliss, ecstasy, and we are searching for it.
The feeling of boredom simply shows that you are ready to go for the inner journey; if you don’t go you will feel stuck. Now the head cannot fulfill your longing. The heart will give you something, a glimpse, a window will open. You will know something of the sky through the window, something of the stars, something of the moon and the sun and the wind and the rain and the flowers, but only through the window. You have to come out of the window too, under the sky, because when you look from the window everything is framed – and the frame is false. If you look from the window towards the starry sky, it feels as if the sky is framed, as if the sky has a limitation, a boundary.
Boredom is a blessing. It is a goading for the search. It is a goading towards God, towards Tao.
I am not against reason. Whatsoever reason can give it has to be used as a means, but one thing is certain: don’t ask for things which it cannot give to you. It cannot give meaning, it cannot give significance, it cannot give dignity, it cannot give you your ultimate flowering. That is possible only through meditation, through discovering your innermost self, your ultimate, eternal being which is never born and never dies.
Use boredom as a jumping-stone towards the ultimate and then you will feel grateful, even grateful to the experience of boredom – which is painful, full of anguish. But the wise man can transform even misery into bliss.
The paradise is already there just you have to take a one hundred-eighty-degree turn.