Chapter 1

You cannot decide – you go on thinking and thinking and wavering your whole life. But remember one thing – whether you decide or not, a decision is continuously being taken. Even if you can’t decide – that too is a decision.
For example, if you don’t decide to leave this woman, you are deciding to be with her.

For nine years you have continued to be a dental surgeon and you don’t like it. That’s suicidal. Nothing is wrong with dentistry. If you like it, it is beautiful. If you don’t like it, it is poisonous. Anything that you don’t like and you continue against yourself is going to create a very suicidal situation. And the more you remain in it, the less you will be capable of coming out of it, because habits become stronger and stronger. You will become more and more involved in it. And you will lose courage – because the more you are in a profession, settled, comfortable, the more risky it becomes. For a dentist to become a musician after nine years is difficult.

So whenever you feel a relationship is not going well, I don’t say come out of it – I say jump out of it! Don’t waste a single moment. There are millions of other women… one door closes, all other doors open.

That is the greatest calamity that can happen to a relationship – when two persons settle for adjustment. And if you are long enough in a difficult relationship, what can you do? You have to adjust. Then you settle for something that is not worthwhile. You drop all the romance of life and all poetry. Your life will lose all significance and grandeur. It will become very ordinary, very mundane… in fact, profane. It will lose the dimension of the sacred.
The sacred is adventure. It is risky – but there is no other way to live. Danger is the only dimension.

Don’t give it a single thought again – just get out of it. All thinking is bourgeois. It is mediocre, middle class. Thinking is always cowardly. So don’t think. Simply go and close all the old doors… and don’t look back.

If one goes on believing and trusting, one comes to encounter miracles every moment. Just because we have lost the capacity to trust, much of the miraculous has disappeared from the world.

Whenever you feel frightened, just relax. Accept the fact that fear is there, but don’t do anything about it. Neglect it; don’t pay any attention to it.
Watch the body. There should not be any tension in it. If tension doesn’t exist in the body, the fear disappears automatically. Fear makes a certain tense state in the body, to get rooted in it. If the body is relaxed, fear is bound to disappear. A relaxed person cannot be scared. You cannot frighten a relaxed person. Even if fear comes, it will come like a wave… it will not get roots.

And fear coming and going like waves and you remaining untouched by it, is beautiful. When it gets rooted in you and starts growing in you, then it becomes a growth, a canceric growth. Then it cripples your inner organism.
relaxation is the antidote for fear… and it will come and go. You simply watch.
That watching should not be of interest – indifferent. One just accepts that it’s okay. The day is hot – what can you do? The body is perspiring… one has to pass through it. The evening is coming close, and a cool breeze will be blowing…. So just watch it and be relaxed.
And it will come… it will come. Because the more we change, the more fear will be coming.

Every change creates fear, because every change is putting you into the unfamiliar, into a strange world. If nothing changes and everything remains static, you will never have any fear. That means, if everything is dead, you will not be afraid.
For example, you are sitting down and there is a rock Lying down. There is no problem – you will look at the rock, and everything is okay. Suddenly the rock starts walking – you become frightened. Aliveness! Movement creates fear; and if everything is unmoving, there is no fear.

That’s why people, afraid of getting into fearful situations, arrange a life of no change. Everything remains the same and a person follows a dead routine – completely oblivious that life is a flux. He remains in an island of his own making in which nothing changes. Mm? – the same room, the same photographs, the same furniture, the same house, the same habits, the same slippers – everything the same.

People live almost in their graves. What you call a convenient and comfortable life is nothing but a subtle grave. So when you start changing, when you start on the journey of inner space, when you become an astronaut of the inner space, and everything is changing so fast, every moment is trembling with fear. So more and more fear has to be faced.
Change will give you vitality… more aliveness, zest, energy. Then you will not be like a pond – closed from everywhere, not moving. You will become like a river flowing towards the unknown, and towards the ocean where the river becomes lost.

the journey is going very fast, and yet you are standing on the same place. That paradox is very significant.
the trees are the same, the houses are the same, the people are the same… the world is the same. And yet something has changed which is very elusive, and you cannot put your finger on it. You cannot say exactly what has changed. If somebody insists on knowing what has changed in you, you will not be able to say.

Nothing has changed – and everything has changed. That’s the paradox of religious consciousness. Hence all religions speak in paradoxes, in contradictions. They have to… there is no other way to speak.

This is the balloon of the ego, this sense of ’I’, that expands. And this sense of ’I’ implies all that you have: your problems, your anxieties, your nightmares, your good things, your bad, your days and your nights – all are involved in this ’I’. This balloon of the ego has everything that you have. When the balloon expands, they all expand.
Let them expand. The balloon will get thinner and thinner and thinner, and a moment… a sudden explosion… and all is gone – balloon and all. Then you are left – you as you are without the ’I. Pure space… almost non-being.

Discomfort is natural. Anything that can be of any help is also uncomfortable. Each growth is uncomfortable. Only death is comfortable… life is uncomfortable.
So one should learn how to put oneself again and again into the new and novel, into discomforts, mm? That keeps one open and growing and fluid.

You can never watch yourself. You are the watcher – so whatsoever you watch is something which is not you.
So don’t strain or you will become bored. Let it be a simple watching of thoughts. Don’t watch the watcher, or you will be moving into a trap which is non-ending, that can lead you on ad infinitum.

Just relax. and enjoy it. When you feel it is becoming like a strain, too heavy, forget all about it. Jerk your body and dance, or run around the house, or do something with the body so that you can get out of the mind.

The greater the peak, the deeper rest will be needed.
So the natural flow, the body, is being perfectly natural. Your mind is creating the trouble.
the mind is too much attached to one polarity.
Life knows no duality. Life knows complementariness.

the whole night, existence prepares for the day… rests in. the womb of darkness… gets ready again. The whole day vibrates with a thousand and one things, gets excited, moves to the climax, then gets tired, exhausted, spent, and moves into the night again.
Rest is part of the energy phenomenon. But you are not taking it as rest – you call it negative. The very word negative gives it a condemnation. Not that negative is wrong, but the association in the mind is wrong.

There are moments of complete enclosure when all your windows are closed and you rest. All curtains drawn, all windows closed… you simply rest into yourself.

One becomes like a seed – closed. Gone are the days when the flowers flowered and the fragrance was flying to the winds. Gone are those moments. Now everything has come to the seed, resting. It will be ready again… again the sprout will come and flowers will be there. But right now it is not the moment.
So accept it. The denial is bad, the rejection is bad. As you accept the peak, accept the valley. There is no schizophrenia in it. That’s how life functions. This is how the dialectic of life is.

We have expectations of everybody, and with ourselves, that each moment we should be available. That is foolish, simply foolish. That is not possible. You are putting unnecessary demands on your being… those demands are wrong. The moment in itself is perfectly as it should be.

As far as I see, we create problems. If you listen to the body, if you listen to the energy, they never lie. It is the mind which goes on commanding impossible things, in fact stupid things. And when the energy and the body cannot follow, it seems a problem.

So next time you just enjoy it. Once you accept the rest, soon your energy will be revitalised. This is my observation – that even a few minutes of total acceptance of the valley revives one completely. But the acceptance should be total, mm? One should become an island… one should cave in, and forget that the world exists.
This will make you more alive. And next time you go to a high peak; if you accept the valley, you will go to a higher peak.

Chapter 2

Death can be very disintegrating… it can shatter you, or it can be a very crystallizing force and can make you integrated. It depends how you use it, how you look at it.

hate shows that you are deeply related. Hate is a relationship. Unless you come out of a group indifferent, it is going to help you; either way – whether you love it or hate it.

Hate is also a love relationship. Behind each hate, love is hiding, and behind each love, hate is hiding. In fact love and hate are not two things. They are not love and hate… the whole energy is love/hate. That’s why any love relationship can change into a hate relationship very easily – in a single moment. Just a single moment before you were in love, and now you hate. And vice versa is also possible.
A friend can become an enemy. The enemy can become a friend. In fact to make anybody an enemy, first you have to make him a friend. You cannot make simply anybody an enemy; that’s impossible. You will have to go through friendship.

A serious mind can never be in the present. Only a playful mind, only children, are in the present. So be more childlike… play more.

ou are continuously bombarded by thousands and thousands of things, and they catch your attention. If you don’t have a protective aura around you, you are vulnerable. A dog barks – suddenly the mind has been pulled in that direction. The dog comes into the memory. Now you have many dogs in the memory from the past. Your friend has a dog… now from the dog you go to your friend. Then to the friend’s sister with whom you had fallen in love. Now the whole nonsense starts. The barking of this dog was in the present, but it led you somewhere else into the past. It may lead you into the future – there is no way of saying. Anything can lead to anything, mm? It is very complicated.

So one needs a surrounding, a protective aura. The dog goes on barking, but you remain in yourself – settled, calm, quiet, centred. Carry that aura for a few days, a few months. When you see that now it is not needed, you can drop it. Once you know how to be herenow, once you have enjoyed the beauty of it, the tremendous bliss of it, you can drop the aura of it.

feel as if this is going to be the last moment… as if there is going to be no other moment. So live it totally.

If you can live each moment as the last, you live it totally – because there is no space to postpone. If this remains in the consciousness, it becomes a constant pointing to the present.

In the night, put the light off, sit on your bed, and close your eyes. Just imagine yourself in a forest.
Don’t say ’I would like to go near that tree’ – no, just allow yourself to move. Walking in the forest for five to seven minutes, you will come near a cave.
Near the cave there is a waterfall. You will find it. A small waterfall… and the sound of water falling. Listen to it, and to the silence of the forest and of the birds, mm? Allow yourself the whole experience. Then sit down in the cave and start meditating. It is meditation within meditation. Have you seen chinese boxes? One box inside another box inside another box….
So you will be meditating inside the cave, and after five minutes I will appear in your meditation. So if you want to ask a question…. Only one question is allowed!

When you are no more feeling energy and you are not engaged in your routine, your mental work, there is a possibility for the unconscious to open a door.

This is my observation – that many times we expect, and the very expectation functions as a barrier because it gives a tension.

Just listen to the tape with closed eyes so you have nothing else to do; so your mind can drop out of functioning.
Listening can be done without the mind. Reading is difficult to do without the mind; possible, but very great training is needed, otherwise the mind comes in. With listening you have to be totally attentive, otherwise you will miss. In reading there is no need – you can read the page again; you can go back again.

Chapter 3

The mind is the establishment, the status quo. And once you start thinking in terms of meditation, you are becoming rebellious. So the mind will create all sorts of trouble – it is natural.

the more your leader will disappear, the better leader you will become, and the better you will feel the results are coming. One day, when the leader is completely gone, you simply become a channel for tremendous energies to enter and take possession.

In fact the leader has to become a vehicle for the unconscious of the led. The led also know the clues, but the clues are deep down in the unconscious. They also know what to do but are not certain. You have to become just vehicles for their own unconscious, so that they come to know something that they know already. Then they will see that you have been vocalising their own hidden understandings; that you are becoming their articulations; that whatsoever they could not say, you have said. But they will feel it is theirs – and then there is no resistance.

Sometimes your insights can become an interference to somebody. It may be true, the insight may be true.

Chapter 4

You may like to come out of it, but you will still continue with the old pattern unless you take a very very aware decision to come out of it. That means that after that moment, you have to do something which is the opposite.
If you have been angry, then do something which is just the contrary to break the habit.

If you have been sad, try to be happy. It is difficult, because the old path is the way of least resistance – it is easier – and to be happy you will have to make an effort. You will have to consciously give a fight to the dead mechanical habits of the mind. So you will have to re-condition it. That is, you create a new habit of being happy.

If your energy is not becoming love, it is bound to become sour, bitter; anger, sadness.
So live a little more consciously. And when you find yourself getting into the old habit, just do the opposite immediately – don’t wait for a single moment. It is easy – once you know the knack of how to do it. You are getting set… just do something!

Anything will do. Go for a long walk, start dancing. Let the dance be a little sad in the beginning, mm? It is bound to be – you are sad, how can you suddenly become happy? Start dancing in sadness and the dancing will divert the sadness. You have brought something new into the sadness which has never been there before. You have never danced before when you were unhappy and sad, so you will puzzle the mind. The mind will feel at loss – what to do? – because the mind can only function with the old.

Bhikshu (her partner) says something, and you feel angry, and you have always wanted to hit him or throw something at him. This time, change – go and hug him. Give him a good kiss, and puzzle him also (laughter). Your mind will be puzzled… he will be puzzled. Suddenly things are no more the same.
always bring in something new… a new breeze into the room.

Comparison has to be dropped – not superiority. Comparison implies both – superiority/inferiority. So don’t compare.

Whenever you start comparing yourself with anybody for anything, immediately relax the mind and ask what nonsense it is up to. Stop in the middle; don’t follow the old track of comparison. And suddenly one feels a flowering, because when there is no comparison to make, there is no competition. Then compassion arises.

Compassion arises only when you see how lonely man is.
When you would like to fill someone’s aloneness, that is compassion. You would like to help somebody to feel that you are there. You would like to hold somebody’s hand and to say to him, ’Hello, I’m here… don’t feel alone.’ But still you know that at the ultimate core, one remains alone. We can help each other, we can love each other. We can help each other in many creative ways, but still, we cannot penetrate each other. Somewhere a point comes beyond which nobody can enter. That is your soul, your being.

Rather than listening to words! listen to people’s being.
Only a sane person feels that he is mad.

Gurdjieff used to behave in a very mad way with people – particularly with new people. He would say nonsensical things, and people would leave him immediately because he seemed to be mad or stupid.
"If they cannot look at me, and if they only understand the words, then I am not going to waste my time with them. If they can understand only words, then they will never be able to understand me, because there is something beyond words that I am trying to convey. So that’s a test for them."

There are many persons who force humility just to feel superior; who feel ashamed just to feel superior; who go to a priest and confess their sins to feel saintly.
The very idea of shame and guilt is ego-oriented. Simply feel that you were foolish, and then you will not help your ego.

everybody present in this moment in the whole world, is going to die. So let it become a deep remembrance in you. Behave with each and every person as if this meeting will be the last. And just see the beauty of it. If you are holding somebody’s hand, hold the hand as if…. And that ’as if’ is not just an ’as if’. It is going to happen some day or other. This may be the last meeting.

And you will never repent, because whatsoever you do, you have done.

Each moment is such that it can never be repeated again. It is unrepeatable.

Things simply happen on their own. You are not running the world
The world was running when you were not there. It will still be running when you go, so why worry for the few days that you are here? Take it easy, enjoy it. Whatsoever is given, accept it and enjoy it – and let it happen… cooperate with it.

The problem arises the moment you start doing something.
The problem is created by your ideal. Drop the ideal – and then it never gets worse. How can it?

Yesterday you were feeling something. Today you are not feeling it – so now you are comparing with yesterday. But why do you want yesterday to be repeated again and again and again? You will be fed up with it!
Today is different… why compare it with yesterday?
Today is so totally different that you also are not the same.

You don’t allow today its being – and that is the only reality there is.
What is wrong with today?
feeling good or bad… but this is the only day there is.

Don’t be a perfectionist. And just live this moment. I don’t see any problem.
The problem either comes from yesterday or from tomorrow. Today is always pure.

Q: An indian sannyasin said that he wanted ’a divine remedy for willpower’, as his was too weak.

Kill it completely! What is the need? What do you need willpower for?
For what? Do you want to become Adolf Hitler?
How to be happy?
Who has told you that willpower is needed for being happy? Happiness has nothing to do with willpower.
Willpower is not needed at all. People with these ideas are never happy because they are always tense.

Willpower is a desire of the ego. You want to be strong and powerful and dominating, and a great leader of men.

a forced inwardness is not going to be beautiful. Let it go outside as far as it wants to go. Then it swings on its own. It is a rhythm, just like day and night.

Out and in are just like that – and both are needed for a true life. Any life with a fixation – either with the outside or with the inside – is a lopsided life, a crippled life; a life which has suffered some sort of paralysis.
True health is the rhythm between the in and out.

Pain is part of growth.
whenever something hurts, something inside vou is repressed. So rather than trying to avoid the pain, move into it. Let it hurt like hell. Let it hurt totally so the wound is opened completely. Once it is opened completely, the wound starts healing. If you avoid these spaces when you feel pain, they will remain inside, and you will come across them again and again, because they are part of you.

Whenever you feel any pain – even an ordinary headache – just sit silently and focus your whole mind on the headache. Listen to it… almost touch the texture of it. And intensify it.
If you can remain with that sharp-pointed pain, suddenly you will see that it has disappeared.

Chapter 5

Risk everything for truth, otherwise you will remain discontented. You will do many things, but nothing will really happen to you.

Even a single moment of authenticity is better than a whole life of inauthentic living.

Freud in his last days wrote in a letter that people cannot live without lies.
Truth is dangerously. Lies are very sweet, but unreal.

be true. Risk everything for truth.

Go and see. Trial and error is the only way – go and see. Maybe you will be defeated, but even in that defeat you will have become stronger than you are right now.

Remember, being cannot happen conveniently – otherwise everybody would have being without any problem. Being happens only when you take risk, when you move in danger. And love is the greatest danger there is. It demands you totally.

That’s the meaning of love – that at least in one person’s presence we can he totally nude. We know that he loves, so he will not misunderstand. We know that he loves, so the fear disappears. One can reveal all; one can open all the doors. One can invite the person to come in. One can start participating in another’s being.

I’m not saying to go into the marketplace and be true – because that will create unnecessary trouble right now. But first with the lover, then with the family, then with people who are farther away. By and by you will learn that to be true is so beautiful that you would like to lose everything for it. Then in the marketplace….

From the very beginning a child comes again and again to these two alternatives: if he does this, father won’t like it – and he will be punished. If he does that, father will like it – and he will be rewarded. So he stops listening to his own heart.

Even if the heart says ’do this’, first he has to check how his father, his mother, the society or the government is going to react. You would like to do something, but what are others going to say?

Gurdjieff used to say to his disciples, ’Drop considerations, otherwise you will never be an independent being.’

Laughter is good if it comes from the deepest core of the person. If it comes just from the head, then it becomes a protective mask.

People should not become serious, deadly serious – otherwise things become heavy and work becomes difficult. So sprinkle fun, laughter, and jokes here and there, but it should be like the salt in the food – not more than that. Mm? If everything is salty you cannot eat it.

being alone is not bad. But it can be enjoyed only if you make a rhythm of being with people and being alone, being with people, being alone. Then it is perfectly beautiful. Otherwise, just being alone you will shrink; you won’t grow. Never get fixated anywhere… remain a flow.

Chapter 6

Aloneness is absolutely natural, and there is nothing wrong in it, but we have wrong attitudes about it. Aloneness is your freedom. It is your space. And it is good that you have a space inside where nobody can come; an absolute privacy where you are alone. And once you know how to use it, it is tremendously beautiful. It is the shrine of your innermost core. It is the only temple there is.

But we go on somehow trying to avoid it through relationships, through work, hobbies. Somehow we don’t want to come to it.
And whatsoever you do, aloneness can never be destroyed. You can hide it, you can cover it up. You can forget about it in a relationship – but again and again you will come to it. Again and again it will erupt into consciousness, because all escapes are just repressions. So the better course is to accept it, to enter it courageously… to live it. And once you enter courageously, loneliness disappears, and a totally different quality – which I call aloneness – enters into your being.

Like deep sleep, you touch your innermost core of aloneness. There is nobody. That sleep gives you vitality, and in the morning you are fresh; again young, again alive, again full of energy to overflow and share.
That aloneness is the very source of health and wholeness. If you can move into it consciously, then it becomes samadhi.

it is not a theory. Everybody comes alone, lives alone, goes alone. All else is just a game.
You love then, too, but that love is very very different. It is no more a need. You can be alone and enjoy it, but still you want to share with people.

Once you know how to be alone, you don’t need the other. Then the relationship is light, weightless, and it has a beauty because nobody corrupts it. It is just for relationship’s cake There is no end to it, no goal. You don’t cling, because there is no point – you can be alone.

Don’t depend on anybody; nobody can make you happy. Happiness is an understanding… it happens in your growth.

You can bring two lights close, but their flames will remain different. Their light will dissolve into each other – that’s love… but their meditation will remain alone.
you have an inner shrine. Whenever something goes wrong, you can close your eyes and go deep into yourself. You can come back again full of energy, again ready to love, again ready to relate.

Let it be a rhythm, and have a very very free swing – sometimes alone and sometimes together. These are two polarities, and they both go together. If you want just a relationship, and you don’t want to be alone, your relationship will be just superficial – because you don’t know your own centre, so how can you relate deeply? And if you want to simply be alone and don’t want to relate, your aloneness will be poor. Enrichment comes from others. Relate as much as you can, but always come back home and go deep into your being, and rest there.

Chapter 7

If you really know something, you need not remember it. You need to remember because you do not really know.
Don’t be a doer – rather, let things happen to you. Let yourself be possessed.

Let God be your lover. Dance as if you are not alone; as if He is constantly with you holding your hands. If the first two steps become possible, the third will come automatically. And then all your loneliness will disappear.
There is no loneliness, but because we are not in tune with the divine, again and again loneliness comes into our lives.

when one is in misery, friends start coming, relatives will come, and they will feel sympathy, and you will start relishing it, enjoying it.
When nobody feels miserable for you, you will feel that something is missing. Never settle for this. Come out of it immediately.

People fall in love with persons – that’s a wrong attitude.

Never be confined because of the past. Future is an opening… Let it remain open. Future is greater than anything that has gone in the past. The past is limited. It is already finished and gone, already dust.

be in love with love, and never waste a single moment without love.
Why wait and sit and become miserable? If you become too miserable, you will attract somebody who likes misery. He may fall in love with you – and then if you become happy, he will be unhappy, because he was searching for someone who is in misery.

Once these rocks are removed you will have a beautiful flow. It is just there, ready to come out, but first you have to go into negativity. Without going deep into the no, nobody can attain to a peak of yes.

Chapter 8

If you put a seed in the earth and you go every day in the morning and take it out and see whether it is sprouting or not, it will never sprout. Leave it. You have given it the right soil; now forget all about it. In its own time, its own season, it will come.
And it is the same with thoughts. Each thought is a potential possibility. Just drop it inside your consciousness and forget about it. In the right time, the right season, suddenly it will surprise you.

Planning is wrong, and being accidental is as wrong as planning. Just between the two somewhere, there is a balance – no planning, but no drifting also.

If you move accidentally, with no idea as a seed in your being – to choose, to judge, to leave this and not leave that, to decide, to commit – if you have nothing, no criterion inside, then you fall into pieces and you start moving in many directions together. You will fall apart.

put the idea in the mind, relaxedly, with deep respect – and allow it to grow on its own.

Nobody is worried because of anybody else. You are worried because of you, and they are worried because of them.

You grow out of the problems. Problems exist because of a particular consciousness. When the consciousness changes, they drop.

Whenever you are bogged down by problems, the ordinary attitude is to find some answers, some ways, some means to change them, to solve them. But that never helps. That is the ordinary way of humanity.

Religion says that problems will exist if you remain the same, because you create them in the first place. Your particular consciousness creates them as a shadow. So don’t be bothered about the problems – raise the consciousness to a higher level.
the problem will be meaningless, and suddenly you will be able to laugh. And that’s what growth is all about.

Chapter 9

Feeling is dangerous for society, because a feeling person cannot be dominated, cannot be regimented; he is a rebel. and a thinking person is always a slave. Once you believe in logic, you believe in regimentation. Once you become too rational you become mechanical. Reason is a mechanism. Then your whole life is turned into a mechanical routine, and society needs, wants, efficient people – not alive people. Mechanically perfect – existentially dead.

whenever you feel that you are shifting towards thinking, always bring yourself back towards feeling. Even if everything is lost and feeling is saved, everything is saved.

Whenever you are wondering whether to do or not, always do. Not- doing is not going to help – do it.
Remain ready to commit a mistake, and ready to admit that you have committed a mistake.

Remember that learning is the point, and learning is possible only if you experiment. Trial and error is the only way.