Chapter 45 - Stay on the path of service, no matter what the defense (the universe) throws at you
Big, bold acts of service often require connection.
With another human being.
So I sent another book and another note.
Then I did so again. And again and again and again until
he finally contacted me.
I said, “I see a way I can serve you. I admire your work.”
In my previous life I would never have kept at it. I would
have jumped off the path at the first sign of rejection. But now I know that staying on the path is the secret.
Chapter 46 - Playing small will spread into your work and eventually it will shrink your life
[quote, Bruce Lee]
If you always put limits on everything you
do, physical or anything else, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.
“Thanking me is too small.” He then said, “Be it!”
when I was being small, I wasn’t really serving. I was just trying to win approval.
And my bank account would soon become as small as I was.
Reminder to myself: money is a reflection of bold and creative service.
I want money that is a reflection of love and service.
To have it I have to, as Werner Erhard says, BE IT. Be the change I wish to see. Be the difference-maker I have always wanted to be.
And reading about it is a vital first step, but if that’s all I do then I am being “too small.”
[quote, Byron Katie]
You don’t ever need more money than you have. When you understand this, you begin to realize that you already have all the security you wanted money to give you in the first place. It’s a lot easier to make money from this position.
Chapter 47 - I could be out there serving people but my mind and my emotions have sent me back to bed
[quote, Stuart Wilde]
There is no defined limit as to how much money you can acquire in what little time. If any definition exists it does so just in your mind and in your emotions.
One of the primary sins of humanity identified by Gandhi was:
“Wealth without work.”
he made me better able to help others. Because he showed me that the source of money was always the work one did to serve others. The willingness to always go the extra mile for people.
Chapter 48 - Okay, really now, who is John Galt?
[quote, Nathaniel Branden]
Don’t be miserly with your strengths, with your intelligence, and with your creativity. Look for outlets. Look for challenges. Find out what makes you feel most alive and figure out some way to earn your living doing it.
For years Nathaniel Branden was not only my psychotherapist, but he was also my philosophical mentor.
Ayn Rand’s mysterious and heroic character John Galt in Atlas Shrugged was based on the young Nathaniel Branden, which gives you an idea of his personal power and influence.
My entire life changed when I found out what made me feel most alive and then figured out a way to make a living doing it.
I give you that quote up above because it has changed my
life for the better.
I want to do what he says.
And I mean that every day I want to:
Look for outlets. Look for challenges. Find out what makes
me feel most alive.
Chapter 49 - Are you finally willing to go berserk?
[quote, George Sheehan]
If you’re going to win anything — a race, yourself, your life — you have to go a little berserk.
When I leave that key “berserk” part out, I tend to lose ground. I tend to not make much of a difference.
It’s usually a person’s unwillingness to go crazy (in a good way) that has them stuck with a boring and financially demoralizing life.
Chapter 50 - Attacking life means seizing the day and then going out there and making things happen
[quote, William Makepeace Thackeray]
Let a person who has to make their fortune in life remember this maxim: Attacking is the only secret. Dare and the world always yields; or if it beats you sometimes, dare it again and it will succumb.
What I love about the warrior word and the attacking word is that they wake me up into action. They take me out of the passive mindset in which I’m waiting for fortune to find me… standing on the widow’s walk longing for my ship to come in.
Chapter 51 - You always become what you choose to think about
I signed my messages: ON TO PROSPERITY, Steve.
Because I really meant that.
You get what you focus on.
[quote, Willem de Kooning]
The trouble with being poor is that it takes up all your time.
Chapter 52 - I despise that person because all he thinks about is money
financially successful person:
he is actually thinking about is the creative work he is doing. His mind is filled with new projects and new people to serve.
The person who is struggling with money, who never has “enough” money, is actually the person we are talking about… he is the person who is always thinking about money. It becomes an obsession for him.
From worrier to warrior.
[quote, David Campbell]
Discipline is remembering what you want.
Chapter 53 - In my previous life I would always quit before the best energy had a chance to kick in
[quote, William James]
Most people never run far enough on their first wind to find out they’ve got a second. Give your dreams all you’ve got and you’ll be amazed at the energy that comes out of you.
We place too high a value on comfort.
because you don’t quit, you get your second wind and you pass everyone else on the road to freedom. Because they don’t even know what a second wind is.
Chapter 54 - Life coaching looks like a phony profession that seeks quick and easy money
Easy money is the wrong way to make money.
It focuses on the wrong thing: the money itself.
Instead of the service. Real, reliable, sustainable,
repeatable service. That’s where real money comes from.
I believe the first responsibility of a coach is to make
friends with prosperity. Learn EVERYTHING about how other coaches do it. The information is here in the school. The
information is right here…
…but the transformation is not.
The transformation is in the actions you take.
There is a distinct difference between coaches committed
to turning PRO and coaches “trying this out to see if it’s a fit for me,” as one would try out multi-level marketing or a real
estate program for flipping houses.
You know when you are committed to success. It’s when
you get audios and other information and LISTEN and TAKE NOTES and ACT on the notes the very next day.
There is never any way around this truth: your success is
ALWAYS directly related to the time and effort you put into
developing your profession.
effort is the way… and the reward.
Chapter 55 - Now let us try to dance with the abundance of the universe
Adults think they have to trust things before making an
effort, which is why they most often settle for a low-effort,
“safe,” habituated life.
I’m always using the example of a child learning to swim
or ride a bicycle.
So, without trusting the water, I got in the water. And
without trusting the bike, I got on the bike.
Chapter 56 - Your lizard is not going to make you any money
Without the warrior mindset I was obsessed with worry
about money and love!
I thought about them all day long. Instead of taking
repeated glorious actions that lead to them.
Most of us imagine that money and love come from
outside of us. But they absolutely do not. They come from inner wisdom and strength. Getting this wrong can cost us an
entire life of happiness.
The robot drives our car, and does most everything else somewhat automatically. However, a robot cannot and will not dream. This is why dreams now only occur at night when we are asleep.
Lawrence of Arabia said we ought to be aware of someone who dreams during the day, while fully awake.
That person will achieve great things.
The lizard brain is just the
amygdala, the survival part of the brain.
It will always be a part of my biology, but I don’t have to
live there all day.
The lizard cannot dream. Or plan. Or create. Or serve.
If I recognize that the lizard brain is where my current
threat-based thoughts are coming from, and if I can be awake to this fact, I won’t get caught up in all these bursts of anger. I
can relax and stay on the path to my financial goal.
Anger is a war you declare on yourself.
Once we can see this, we’ve got a new sense of freedom.
And freedom comes first. Then prosperity.
Chapter 57 - If money is not about greed, then how do I start making some?
Maybe money just shows you whether or not you have served people.
So how do I create wealth in this world?
- Get the fire inside you started.
- Then let the fire serve someone.
When Bob Dylan writes, in his book Chronicles, about how much he admired Joan Baez before he met her, he says, “I’d be scared to meet her. I didn’t want to meet her but I knew I would. I was going in the same direction even though I was in back of her at the moment. She had the fire, and I felt I had the same kind of fire.”
My own life’s turning point came when I discovered I could light that fire all by myself. It took me more than fifty years to discover this. But I’m slow in these matters. You can get it today if you want.
For the first fifty years of my life I thought the fire only happened when something inspired me. It was something that had to happen to me. And the reason I believed that was because that was my only experience up till then.
How do I start the fire in me today?
This gets tricky.
Because fire starts with fire.
You know how to feel like it? You play. And so even though you don’t feel like it, you play anyway and now you find you are loving it.
So, you light the fire within by taking the action that you would be taking if the fire were already lit—and that lights the fire. The action lights the fire.
The whole world is sitting around waiting to find something that will start the fire.
I had a coaching client who said, “Tell me what I should want.”
And I said I would never do that. Can you hear the absurdity of his request? Because here was a guy with a lot of talent and a lot of options. He could do so many things and yet he didn’t “know what to choose.” He couldn’t figure out how to choose. He said, “Tell me what I should want” because he was paralyzed, not doing much of anything.
Pick a project, get into it and get out of your mental paralysis.
You can’t start a fire with water. You can’t start a fire with dirt. It takes a fire to start a fire.
When people understand this, they finally see that the action itself is what starts the fire and creates the passion in them—and the desire to do great work.
[quote, Steve Jobs]
Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe
is great work.
Chapter 58 - Why must I keep reinventing myself?
You can stay as stuck as you are. Like I did.
But now I love reinventing myself.
I love impermanence. I love that I’m ever-changing. I love
being flexible. I love being open. I love being creative. I love redesigning everything on a whim to serve others better and
be happier and have more fun.
Reinventing myself is an exercise. It’s a dance. It’s a song
to sing. It’s a process, and when I really start to get the swing of it and the habit of it and the fun of it I can see that it serves
me (and the planet) every time I do it.
Stuck. Like a guitar player who wants to weld his guitar strings in place once they’re in tune.
It does not work.
It does not work to stay “safe”
consciously, regularly reinvent yourself.
Chapter 59 - One good way to wreck our bodies and our minds
[quote, Dale Carnegie]
You and I are standing this very second at the meeting place of two eternities: The vast past that has endured forever, and the future that is plunging on to the last syllable of recorded time. We can’t possibly live in either of those two eternities — no, not even for one split second. But, by trying to do so, we can wreck both our bodies and our minds.
Peter Diamondis and Steven Kotler wrote an exciting book called Abundance.
When you were young IT WAS ALWAYS NOW.
The only good use of any future is artistic.
You paint a picture of your positive imaginary future on your whiteboard. Then you PULL THAT PICTURE—WITH EVERY OUNCE OF STRENGTH YOU HAVE—into the present moment.
[quote, William Faulkner]
Clocks slay time. Time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels; only when the clock stops does time come to life.
Chapter 60 - Why is everyone talking about passion? What if I don’t have any?
“Following your passion? What a bunch of BS!” Mark Cuban.
he believes, as I do, that “following your passion” (as a necessary first step to creating success) is overrated.
Especially when the very concept of passion is what’s keeping you out of action.
I can’t tell you how many people I know who are not doing anything to serve others because they are still frozen by their inability to find or follow their passion. They’ve heard that’s where you have to start, but they just can’t find it!
Mark Cuban says this in his wonderful blog (blogmaverick.com):
- When you work hard at something you become good at it.
- When you become good at doing something, you will enjoy it more.
- When you enjoy doing something, there is a very good chance you will become passionate or more passionate about it.
- When you are good at something, passionate and work even harder to excel and be the best at it, good things happen.
Don’t follow your passions, follow your effort. It will lead you to your passions and to success, however you define it.
[quote, John Groberg]
Pick something you love about your life right now and then go back into your past and see how the bad things that happened back then actually led to creating what you love now. What might that teach you about anything that is currently happening in your life that you see as bad or imperfect?
Chapter 61 - How would you like to be a mad scientist and an inventor when it comes to who you really are?
[quote, Joseph Campbell]
We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.
I was not a time warrior.
And I was certainly not a wealth warrior.
Until I was.
So what happened?
I reinvented myself.
The really deep reason that I wanted to reinvent myself was my realization (and realization for me means making real for me) that reinvention was all there was anyway.
In other words, I invented my “self” (my presenting egoic personality) to begin with. And when I could see that my whole personality—who I thought I was—was an invention, freedom arose.
My previous identity was all made up!
And it was made up during childhood of various responses to things that scared me.
Other people are shy and reclusive as they shrink away — they never say much in meetings—but that part of them was invented too.
It’s not as if it is in their DNA to be shy.
It was an invention to cope with or respond to something— or to have a safe way of being, a way that wouldn’t embarrass them further.
We invent these safety masks along the way in early childhood and we create a few more reinventions around the junior high school and high school era, so that the huge fear of being embarrassed by our peers gets countered.
So, do I want to continue to be the “ME” that a five-year-old and a fifteen-year-old, and an eighteen-year-old made up?
Do I want to live with that forever?
Are they the best me?
Are they the wisest me?
Do I really want to live from a five-year-old’s perspective
of how scary the world was?
The great companies in this world see the value of reinvention.
Who knew I could buy groceries on Amazon? Or watch my son sing a song by looking at my “phone”?
You can do that kind of reinvention too. With your “self” and your career. I mean, you’re inventing yourself anyway. Why not reinvent yourself consciously and creatively?
[quote, Nassim Nicholas Taleb]
The good life — the vita beata — is like reading a Russian novel: it takes 200 pages of struggling with the characters before one can start enjoying things. Then the agitation starts to make sense.
Chapter 62 - Now here’s a secret insider’s trick that can make you some real money
The best and most effective way to build your career is to do such a GREAT job with your existing clients that they renew, expand and refer others to you.
Ralph Waldo Emerson: “Make yourself necessary to somebody.”
Then: Stay on the service path you are on.
Don’t let family and social “obligations” pull you from
your path or you will end up resenting your family and friends and failing professionally as well.
You can spend your whole life building something from nothing One storm can come and
blow it all away…
Build it anyway.
Why did the song say “build it anyway”?
Because it isn’t the something you built that is important, it is the Having Built It inside you that is important.
That’s what will never leave you.
[quote, Nassim Nicholas Taleb]
Just as a package sent by mail can bear a stamp “fragile” or “handle with care,” imagine the opposite:“please mishandle” or “be careless, as it benefits from shocks.”
Chapter 63 - Okay gang, now let’s get out there and benefit from some shocks!
What if we could just DROP our concern with how we are being perceived and only connect with people?
When they asked the great religious preacher John Wesley
how he learned to give such mesmerizing speeches and sermons he said, “I just set myself on fire and let the people watch me burn.”
Where do I get this fire? How do I find it?
You don’t find it. You write it out to yourself.
Then you read it and internalize it. And then you let the cameras roll.
You go out and get it wrong and make a lot of mistakes.
You are willing to fail forward. Better than that, you enjoy failing forward.
“I love being right.” +
“I like being wrong,” I said. +
“Why do you like being wrong?” +
“Because when I am wrong, I can learn something. When I’m right, I don’t learn anything.”
With my coaching clients we call it “game film.”
If something didn’t go their way, say they didn’t come up with a sale, or they didn’t have a negotiation go their way, we would review the conversation as if we were reviewing game film.
I don’t want to make them wrong or have them feel guilty about how they didn’t close their deal. So it’s just game film. Just like when a team, after playing a big game, will all gather together the next Monday and watch film of the game that they played.
By watching this game film they can learn so much about how to play next week’s game.
They can see where they were out of position and how the other team scored because of it. They can learn wonderful things from this.
most coaches celebrate wins. And when they lose they look angry and upset. But he was the opposite, in a very subtle way.
“I see what you mean and I’ll tell you why that is. When we lose I’m really excited about all the alterations we can make and everything we can learn from our film of the game. I’m ready to go. I’m ready to really fix this team and shore it up and make it strong for next week based on what we see on the film—all the things we can do differently. But when we win? Well, we get a kind of feeling of being invincible, there’s nothing really left to correct, we only need to show up next week. And I don’t like that. I get upset with that attitude, so I’m worried when we win about how to keep the intensity and how to keep people focused. So that’s what you are seeing in my face after each game.”
Whenever clients of mine or I have had some breakthroughs in building wealth, or when our own careers start to generate more income, it is usually related to a willingness to take a new approach to failure. We are eager to benefit from things we did “wrong” and things that didn’t work.
Most people try to forget what doesn’t work because they have a bad emotional reaction to it. They think “That’s too bad and it’s sad and I wish I hadn’t lost that deal or I wish I hadn’t lost that customer!”
Bill Gates: “We built our company on customer complaints.”
There’s tremendous learning available inside the complaint if they slow down and study it like a game film.
Chapter 64 - This is inside every heartache I feel
[quote, Napoleon Hill]
Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.
I want to have this quote written on my soul. I can’t have it be just some catchy information I try to remember.
Because it can free me to spring into action and get extremely creative in response to heartache and adversity. And I have had a ton of financial heartache and adversity over the years.
Misfortune always (and by that I mean always) contained the seed of an equivalent benefit. Seeing this, I could now grow the seed right away and not wait for “time” (linear time) to heal anything.
Dr. Martin Seligman in his excellent book, Flourish, calls the practice of instantly finding the benefit in adversity “post- traumatic growth,”
Chapter 65 - Yes there actually IS a cure-all
[quote, Tim Ferriss]
Excitement is the more practical synonym for happiness, and it is precisely what you should strive to chase.
It is the cure-all.
Are you trying to make money in a way that is not exciting for you? Step up the excitement factor.
Stop shooting for happiness.
You are aiming too low.
Chapter 66 - Talk to real people—ask for what you want
[quote, Martha Beck]
Basic human contact—the meeting of eyes, the exchanging of words—is to the psyche what oxygen is to the brain.
If you’re feeling abandoned by the world, interact with anyone you can.
any time you are feeling down, or under-motivated, reach out and communicate.
Wealth through service is a relationship game, and relationships are created by contributing to the lives of others, sometimes with just a simple, helpful conversation.
Byron Katie: “You could have anything in the world you wanted if you were willing to ask 1,000 people for it.”
Because people tend to quit before they reach 1,000. Before they reach 100?
Before they reach 10.
[quote, Robert Kiyosaki]
I have a coach for fitness. A coach for marriage. A coach for golf. Why would I not have a coach for money?
Chapter 67 - What to do when your wife’s look says, “WTF?”
She’d ask how he was doing, but as the months went by he could see the increasing fear in her face. “Eventually she’d look at me like ‘WTF?’” he said. “She could tell that I was not succeeding in this new venture and was wondering what I was doing all day.”
This guy is just walking around the house looking lost.
He isn’t making any money.
One night after a tearful conversation with her, Ron
realized that he was at a crossroads.
Life could not go on like this.
She went to bed and he went to his computer to look at Monster.com. He spent several hours looking for jobs. He was ready to go do whatever it took to support his family.
“But I really didn’t like my options—none of the positions I saw would be using the consulting skills I had developed. I felt like I’d always be trying to fit myself into a very small box.”
At that moment a question occurred to him. If his goal was to create a business that allowed him to use his talents and create the income he wanted, what, exactly, was missing?
Because at this point he either had to figure that out or go get a small box job.
“The answer came very quickly. What was missing was sales skills. I must either learn how to sell what I do or… give up.”
The next realization was even simpler: It was time to make a commitment. So he did—Ron decided to master sales.
Not just dabble in it.
Not just become competent.
But to master it.
He promised himself he would convert sales from being the big thing missing in his life to being a powerful presence in it.
That was eight years ago. Today Ron Wilder has read more than a hundred books on sales and invested almost a quarter of a million dollars in sales training and coaching for himself.
He learned and practiced what he learned. Information has become transformation.
And because of it, he’s created a thriving business—doing his best work ever—and is now completely secure in his ability to keep getting clients.
If he had had a sales job in some company, they probably would have made a similar investment by sending him to sales training. And they themselves would have kept most of the financial benefits of that training.
Ron says, “Nathanial Branden advised us to realize that ‘No one is coming.’ That’s the bad news—and the good news. The bad news is that no one is coming to rescue you or bail you out—you have to do it yourself. But when you accept that, it becomes not just good news, but great news. The great news is that you get to truly become an owner and take 100% responsibility for the results you are getting in your life. And when you take ownership and then take action—you get to enjoy what Arthur Brooks calls ‘earned success’—the essential ingredient for true happiness.”
Arthur Brooks has written an inspired book called The Road To Freedom. In it he reveals a massive number of research findings that show that money actually is—in an important sense—the root of all happiness.
As long as it’s earned money.
Because true happiness flows from the action you took to earn it. The service you delivered.
Today Ron Wilder is one of the happiest people I know.
Chapter 68 - This kind of “service” does not pass the giggle test
service: It really means helping someone else, assisting another person, and delivering actual value.
SORRY: TEMPORARILY OUT OF SERVICE
I won’t produce wealth when I’m out of service.
Out of service.
Will not work.
Because when I am out of service I am out of service.
This I mean to whisper to my mind.
Chapter 69 - This is the powerful formula I spent years and years not wanting to learn
I didn’t want to learn this.
I held out for years.
But I finally accepted it:
The harder I am on myself, the easier life is on me. +
The easier I am on myself, the harder life is on me.
I mean doing hard things.
And the hard job of saying NO to all the people I used to waste my life on as I tried to please them and win their approval.
[quote, Don Colacho]
Each day we demand more from society so that we can demand less from ourselves.
Chapter 70 - How to be a wealth warrior
[quote, Ron and Mary Hulnick]
The psychological result of building up wealth is a feeling of accomplishment, mastery and success.
Audio by Steve Chandler
1) Are You a DOER or a FEELER?
We all have a choice to be a “Doer” or a “Feeler.” Steve shows how the mind, body and spirit are intertwined and how we can move beyond feelings-inspired resistance and build more DOING into our lives.
“I don’t know what to do” and “I don’t know how to do it” are common complaint-themes in people’s lives. Transform the “I don’t know” lie by choosing. Yes, it really is that simple. Learn how to use the power of choosing to move out of stagnation and into action.
3) Expectation vs. Agreement
Creating agreements works wonders. Up-vibe your personal and professional relationships by learning to create agreements instead of expecting others to do things (and then being disappointed when they don’t).
4) Information vs. Transformation
Break free from “information addiction” by applying, testing and experimenting with what you’ve learned. Step out of your comfort zone and into transformation. Steve shares his own experiences of transformation-based learning.
5) Is It a Dream or a Project?
Steve shows how we can get what we want by cultivating a mindset of choosing. Move beyond wishing and dreaming and have your life’s adventure be one of choosing and converting dreams into projects.
6) Purpose vs. Personality
Everything looks frightening when you’re living from your personality rather than from purpose. Make friends with purpose and take it with you throughout the day. To live from purpose, wake up to what you’re up to and practice it.
7) SERVING vs. PLEASING People
People often confuse serving people with pleasing people. Steve shows how the Owner mindset is serving and the Victim mindset is pleasing. This program gives clarity on what serving is and does and how you can benefit from making it a life practice.
8) TESTING vs. TRUSTING
TESTING vs. TRUSTING is a distinction which can truly strengthen your day! The active path of testing and testing and testing throughout your day can become your path to mastery of any activity you wish to master.
9) The How To vs. The Want To
Coming from a place of “Want To” means the “How To” is never a problem, because the best “How To” is to have more “Want To” than you’ve ever had before.
10) The Owner / Victim Choice
Based on the bestselling book, Reinventing Yourself. Owners have an awareness of their own freedom of choice and they love to make and keep agreements. They own their own spirit and energy and have a sense of personal responsibility and self-control. Victims are victims of circumstance who navigate their days based on their shifting feelings.
11) Who You Know vs. What You Do
It’s who you know – that’s how you succeed in life. Wrong! It’s really all about what you do and how you serve. Put your creative energy into your work first and foremost, rather than into networking and collecting “friends.”
12) Why Should I Reinvent Myself?
Reinventing yourself can be a fun thing to do and people who get really good at it can see that it serves them every time they do it. Embrace reinventing yourself as away of being and experience the fun and the joy that it can bring you.