Chapter 12 - Your money problems can be explained by looking at your daily calendar

Service is going to become the master key to riches if my client is willing to stay on the path.

I like to start with the money. No matter what it makes people think of me. Because the money will lead us back to see whether there is service, true service, or not. I always follow the money.

[quote, Ayn Rand]
So you think that money is the root of all evil? Have you ever asked what is the root of money? Money is a tool of exchange, which can’t exist unless there are goods produced and people able to produce them. Money is the material shape of the principle that people who wish to deal with one another must deal by trade and give value for value. Money is not the tool of the moochers who claim your product by tears, or of the looters, who take it from you by force. Money is made possible only by the people who produce. Is this what you consider evil?


Chapter 13 - When the student is ready there are teachers showing up every day

“I’d be Mr. Positive too if someone gave me a million dollars.”
But maybe one would have it backwards.
Ron is not in a positive, good-news-spreading mood because someone gave him a million dollars. Someone gave him a million dollars because he is a positive, good-news-spreading person. (Emerson says life is a perpetual teaching of cause and effect. True cause and effect.)

Ron Hulnick creates good fortune by who he is each and every day. And who he is is created by internal and external language.
Both verbal and non-verbal. Ron is good news itself—at the level of soul. (St. Francis of Assisi said, “Preach the gospel at all times and when necessary use words.”)

Ron Hulnick doesn’t wait to see if his teaching will make any money. He had been a psychologist, a university president, a coach, a seminar leader and an inspirational writer long before the wealth flowed back into him and his school. He gave before he got. And he still does.
But here is the point (and he makes this point, too): Anyone (including you) can do this.
We all have good news to spread. Whether we want to admit it or not.

One day I took a seminar on success (since I had none) and there was a questionnaire for me to fill in at the beginning. One question in particular woke me up:
“Would you rather be a) envied or b) pitied?”
I circled “pitied” then dropped the pen on the table in surprise and disgust. I pushed back my chair and picked up the paper again and stared at the word I had circled. PITIED! Are you serious? How sickening was that? All of a sudden I had air sickness. I wanted a vomit bag. Could this be true?

That was right around the time I discovered Nathaniel Branden and his powerfully clear books on self-esteem. That’s when a major component of reinventing myself began.
Soon I started to do phone therapy sessions with Dr. Branden, and I later flew to California to meet with him at his house in Beverly Hills to work with him further. We did his sentence-completion exercises until I finally grasped his final and deepest teaching:
NO ONE IS COMING!

I put it up on my wall. At first it was frightening. No one is coming? Who’s going to bail me out? But soon it was liberating—no one was coming to live my life for me. No one was coming to earn money for me.
The power to do all that was now back in my court. Game on.


Chapter 14 - What happens when your whole occupation is worry?

People without a project worry a lot.
I learned this by studying myself.
Worry becomes the project.
The brain wants to DO SOMETHING.
So, without a project, it worries.
When they are fully engaged in a project, they don’t have time to worry.

[quote, Werner Erhard]
Light the fire, don’t warm yourself by it. What you are being, the stand you take in life, creates what you’re experiencing. Not the other way around like 98% of all people think.


Chapter 15 - Society will always be working against me

It consumes our attention… our precious and valuable attention.
We become prosperous when we learn to fix attention on our purpose, on service-oriented activities and on useful information.
Our attention will be the source of our wealth, so if we allow the poisoned, random waters of everything that poses as “news” or “edgy new entertainment” to wash in, we have nothing left to work with.

What I give my attention to expands in my life.
Am I choosing and creating?
Or do I just wake up and allow our toxic culture and
society to wash over me like a wave? Always my choice.
And choice is a beautiful thing.


Chapter 16 - What about letting the chips fall where they may and just muddling through?

an airplane could try landing upside down.
It’s just not a very functional approach, and because all approaches are optional, why not choose one that gets me on the ground safely and smoothly?
Such as, “Life is a gift; what do I want to use it for?”
That whole idea of using your life for something was alien to me until I read Napoleon Hill and learned that I could have a definite major purpose, and that if I stayed on the path and didn’t waste my days with drifting I would be fulfilling that purpose every day.
(I’m repeating myself for a reason. Stay with me.)


Chapter 17 - Create relationships like you would a painting, one bright dab of color at a time

The next big thing I learned about wealth creation came from meeting someone.
(And when a book is truly life-changing, like Hill’s books were for me, how is that different from meeting someone? A book is just a way of meeting and talking to someone you don’t know—like I am talking to you right now.)

I met someone who changed my life dramatically.
He was a young assistant track coach at the University of Arizona named Mike Bassoff.

“I somehow knew that recruiting was all about relationships,” Mike said. “We out-recruited other schools because of the relationships we created.”
Mike saw his job as one of simply creating relationships— not just recruiting athletes. And through the strength of those relationships, athletes chose his school over others.
This is what Mike taught me.
Success is all about creating relationships, and relationships are all about giving. You give your time, your love and your attention, and you create a relationship.

This was different from what the world outside was saying about relationships. The world seemed to say that a relationship was something that happened to you when the chemistry was right, when two people understood each other, felt a bond, and experienced an almost serendipitous connection.
Mike Bassoff said otherwise.
A relationship is yours to create.
You build it.
Like a house, one brick at a time.
You create it. Like a painting. One dab of glorious color at a time.

It turned out that what I learned from him about giving before you get would change my life forever.


Chapter 18 - Yet I was going bankrupt at the time

My family life was in turmoil because of the medical challenges faced by my children’s mother, and because of my own inability to be strong with money. I was barely keeping my company afloat. I had some skills for writing and creating, so clients came to me, but I had no talent for creating wealth, and my debts were nightmarish.

That’s when I got the relationship piece, and Mike’s key to it all: giving.

“The way we’re going to build this cancer center is by creating relationships,” he said, “and the way we are going to have those relationships grow is by giving. Small donors will turn into major donors. That is, unless I’ve got this all wrong.”

our mantra became, “You can’t outgive the Giver.”
Turns out money was not about getting. It was about giving. If you gave all day and stopped focusing on getting, you would create wealth.

No matter how small a donation someone made to the Cancer Center (which back then was just an idea without a building or anything), Mike and I would give more back to the donor.

We made a creative game out of it. All our meetings were about what we could give people who contacted us.
The meetings were never about what we could get.

I was starting to learn: A life based on giving becomes a life that produces wealth. A life based on getting is a life of anxiety and money problems.

We gave small donors talks by research doctors. We gave long letters reporting breakthroughs in cancer research. Mike gave his time and effort to each donor. If a donor had a sister with cancer in Iowa, Mike would have one of the Arizona doctors make phone calls to have that sister cared for by the best people.
Even if that donor had only given $100!
Mike explained it to me. He had a miner’s scale he had bought to make his point. (You’ve seen those scales, with two brass plates on a chain? When a miner would put a gold nugget in one plate the scale would tip up until he put another nugget in the other to balance it.)
Mike would tip the scale one way and say, “She gives us $100 and now our challenge is to tip the scale back in our favor.”

He then pantomimed putting nuggets in the other side. “We make calls, we help her sister, we give her time and
attention, we send her a letter…” And the miner’s scale would tip back in our favor.
“Never let the donor outgive you,” said Mike. “That’s our game, and that’s our job.”

Soon the money was pouring in to the cancer center.

Giving and giving all day long.
And no matter how much we gave, we couldn’t keep up.
We couldn’t outgive the Giver, try as we might.

While participating with Mike in this amazing success— this huge illustration to me of how wealth is created—I was also continuously reading my Napoleon Hill books and noticing that he was urging his readers to always go the extra mile. He said, always do more than what you are paid for, and soon they won’t be able to pay you enough.
The book was giving me the philosophy of success, while
Mike’s work and mine were becoming real-life verification.

I love it when that happens. When an exciting philosophy turns out to be exactly how the world works.