How much do I want to read more? 5/10

A short book that may help to overcome this painful experience of losing a beloved one.
It's not only about accepting the loss, but it's also about honoring the person and being empowered to be transformed oneself.


1 - The Secret

mourning, or the outward expression of grief, helps people heal. I saw that those who were more open and authentic in their grief and mourning—in ways that suited their unique personalities and needs—were more likely to work their way to renewed meaning and purpose in their continuing lives.

a lot of people carry their grief instead of mourning it.

2 - Why Rituals Work

A third and critical reason we rely on ritual is that it gives us something to do when we don’t know what to do.

A final—and I think the most important—reason that humankind has forever created and relied on ritual is that it plugs us into the spiritual plane.

I’m also a big proponent of talk therapy. It’s the essential tool of grief counseling, but ritual has that ability to move grievers as the crow flies.

3 -How Rituals Work

MOURNING NEED 1: Acknowledge the reality of the death

MOURNING NEED 2: Embrace the pain of the loss

MOURNING NEED 3: Remember the person who died

MOURNING NEED 4: Develop a new self-identity

After someone central to our lives dies, we are different. The ways in which we think of our lives and ourselves, and sometimes that society thinks of us, change. Our daily routines may change. Our passions and purpose evolve. Grief rituals create a time and place of stillness in which to consider who we are and who we want to be.

MOURNING NEED 5: Search for meaning

We naturally wonder about the “whys” of life and death when we are in grief. What is the purpose of life? Why are we here? Why did someone we love have to die, now and in this way? Why go on? These are the kinds of questions we wrestle with in our hearts and souls. We may also struggle with religious beliefs. Grief is a spiritual journey, and this mourning need arises because our spirits are wounded.

MOURNING NEED 6: Receive and accept help from others


5 - Personal Daily Grief Rituals at Home

Our culture misunderstands grief. It teaches us that after someone we love dies, we need to say goodbye and move on. What we really need, however, is to commit the time and energy over weeks and months to say hello to our grief. We need to spend time with our grief and actively engage with it. That is the purpose of the rituals in this book, and that is why they’re so amazingly effective at helping us heal. This Hello Ritual is designed to help us befriend our grief and work on all of our mourning needs.

A Final Word

Death transforms love into grief, and ritual transforms grief into healing…and more love.

Yes, love is transformative. Death is transformative. Grief is transformative. And mourning and ritual are transformative. They are a wheel, with one leading into the next in an endless loop