How much do I want to read more? 5/10
It's the kind of advice you can read on a blog.
It's ok, but nothing new under the sun. And you may be better equipped with your own compass when it comes to friendship, instead of reading what to do in a book.
Introversion comes with an interesting mix of strengths and weaknesses.
Chapter 1: How to Tell If You’re an Introvert
Nobody is either a 100% extrovert or a 100% introvert. We all exhibit both introverted and extroverted behaviors.
- You can be described as reserved, quiet or private. You are overwhelmed by too much stimulation.
- You prefer a slower pace and time for contemplation. Spontaneity isn’t your friend.
- You tend to think things through. There’s a never-ending inner monologue in your head.
- You would rather observe than be the center of attention. Most introverts tend to look at things from a safe distance.
- You prefer solitude to social activities (but you don’t necessarily fear social encounters).
Chapter 2: Strengths of Introverts
Strength #1: Your Listening Skills
As an introvert, you have more developed listening skills than an average extrovert. Extroverts thrive as the center of attention, while you relish your role as an observer. Your ability to let the other person speak without interrupting her is a rare skill among extroverts.
Strength #2: Focus on Quality
Introverts prefer to develop deep relationships with fewer people.
One of the key techniques to do so is to ask deep questions. Here are some questions that will help you strengthen your relationship:
What would your day look like if you had a billion dollars and didn’t have to worry about money?
You’ll learn what things your friend enjoys and values the most in her life. Don’t just settle for a shallow, funny reply such as, “I would sleep all day long and eat at the finest restaurants.” Dig deeper and learn about the biggest dreams of your friend.
What scares you the most and why?
It makes you feel vulnerable to share your deepest fears. Consequently, it builds trust. It will also help you understand what things your friend wants to avoid and why.
What’s the number one thing you think is true that very few people agree with?
Asking this question will help you learn how your friend sees the world in a different way than most people. It can also be a powerful link between you two if you both think the same while almost everyone around you thinks the contrary.
What makes you smile?
Learn what makes your friend happy and do it often for mutual enjoyment. There’s nothing that makes people happier than making other people happy.
If you had a year left to live, what would you achieve over the next 12 months?
Reminding people of death makes them think about the most important things they want to achieve before they die. Be the person to inspire your friend to do them before it’s too late.
What do you consider sensitive topics that should not be joked about?
Sensitive topics are usually things we strongly believe in or value over anything else. It helps to know what your friend doesn’t like to joke about, so you can avoid unnecessary conflicts.
What do you value most in a friendship?
We all expect different things from a friendship. Find out about the most important thing your friend looks for in a friendship and be the friend she’s looking for.
Strength #3: Old Soul
They spend a lot of time alone, which makes them gravitate toward the intellectual side of life.
They’re inclined to focus on spirituality and introspection.
Strength #4: Honesty
Studies show that the more reflective people are, the more honest they become.
Honesty is a fundamental part of every strong relationship. Use it to your advantage by being open with what you feel and giving a truthful opinion when asked.
Strength #5: Vast Knowledge
Introverts spend a lot of time in solitude, either by reading books or consuming information in a different form. Consequently, they usually have vast knowledge about various topics – both related to the everyday life and to deeper issues of a spiritual nature.
Chapter 3: Weaknesses of Introverts
Weakness #1: You Don’t Handle Crowds Well
If at any time you feel your energy has been completely drained, tell your friends you have to go
Weakness #2: You Need a Lot of Alone Time
It helps them focus on their inner life, which is the primary source of their energy.
In other words, extroverts need the external motivation in order to feel rewarded and motivated while introverts need the internal motivation.
11 More Ways to Recharge Yourself
- Read a book. It’s an all-time classic for introverts.
- Write in a journal. Journaling is like socializing with yourself, but virtually any form of writing is a perfect activity for introverts.
- Watch a movie in your own room. Noisy cinemas full of people will over-stimulate you if you need alone time.
- Play with your pet.
- Cook something new.
- Create something, be it art (drawing, painting, music, stories, poems, taking photos, etc.) or something used in everyday life (carpentry, crocheting, knitting, candle or soap making, etc.).
- Gardening. If you’re lucky to have your own garden, it’s a perfect place to recharge your batteries.
- Yoga, the gym, bike rides, jogging, climbing, and any other sport you can practice on your own without other people.
- Driving solo for long periods of time while listening to your favorite music. Enjoy the journey. The destination doesn’t matter. It’s one of my most favorite ways to recharge, giving me the same kind of inner solitude as meditation.
- Clean your house. There’s something deeply satisfying when you’re done cleaning and everything is in perfect order.
- Learn something new – either by reading books, watching videos or listening to podcasts.
Weakness #3: Overthinking
It makes you behave in an unnatural, creepy way.
Trying to avoid the awkwardness makes you act in a more awkward way than doing things in the spur of the moment.
Weakness #4: It’s Hard for You to Open up with Strangers
Introverts don’t connect with other people as well as extroverts do when making small talk. If you want to get to know someone on a deeper level, a conversation about the weather or mutual friends won’t cut it.
Take the initiative and ask the right questions to find similarities. During the conversation, it’s your job to find a common ground that will help you open up and let the other person get to know you better.
Weakness #5: The Inability to Say “No”
The solution? Set boundaries.
1. Take Your Time
They process information in a deeper and more reflective way, and thus they do it more slowly.
Every time someone asks you to do something, don’t reply right away. Say, “Let me think about it,” and give yourself a second to ponder it.
2. Never Agree to Anything on the Phone
The awkward silence on the phone is extremely uncomfortable. It puts a lot of pressure on you to reply quickly. Instead of making your decision over the phone, say, “Let me think about it.
3. Have a “No” Day
During this one day, you politely say no to everything.
It will help you be more aware once your “no” day is over.
The proper approach when saying yes or no to invitations is to always give them serious consideration.